'My name is being called the next 'Karen' and I am not okay with it.'

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There's a TikTok going around that has personally attacked me in ways I'm not emotionally prepared to deal with right now.

In it, a woman floats the idea that Jessica is giving strong "next Karen" energy.

As in: the millennial shorthand for an unhinged, entitled, chaos-bringing menace to society.

@erindieheart

millennialsoftiktok karen fyp yourpage foryou 4yp millennial foryou

♬ original sound - Erin Dieheart

At first, I laughed. Nervously. Then I read the comments.

"I've never met a nice Jessica."

"There's a difference between Jess, Jessi, and Jessica. And none of them are good."

"I have exclusively met bad Jessicas."

"I've met nice and mean ones. But I've never met a normal Jessica."

Excuse me?

I didn't choose this name. I was born in 1989, also known as 'Peak Jessica Era'. Every classroom had three of us. We sat in alphabetical order. By Year 5, I'd already been reduced to a first name and last initial, like a background character in my own life.

Listen: The Quicky dives into the science and data of how baby names become popular (aka why everyone is now called Olivia). Post continues below.

We were raised on The Spice Girls, toxic diet culture and MSN Messenger. We're just trying to live, laugh, therapise. And now you're telling me my name is a red flag?

But here's the twist. I'm not being attacked by a different generation. Millennials (aka my beloved peers) are the ones doing this. The call is coming from inside the house.

We are turning on ourselves in broad daylight — hungry for a scapegoat, a symbol of everything we find cringey, overly earnest, or aggressively almond-milk-coded about our own kind.

Apparently, we've decided that we, too, need a Karen. But why are we so desperate to create one?

Honestly, it gives... Boomer energy. They had the Karen — a woman loudly asking for the manager, fighting minimum-wage workers over expired coupons and committing microaggressions in a blouse.

But millennials don't Karen.

We curate. We passive-aggressively post Instagram quotes about boundaries. We send apology texts three business days after the fact and ghost out of group chats entirely.

We don't scream at retail staff. We just send a strongly worded email from our Gmail, signed off with "thanks!" and a slow-burning resentment that we'll unpack in therapy seven years from now.

We are not Karens. We are just emotionally exhausted. And now we're bullying ourselves.

Look — I'll admit it: I'm probably exactly the kind of Jessica people are talking about. I am deeply chaotic. Emotionally flammable. Occasionally delusional.

I have absolutely cried at Kmart (this week). I have passive-aggressively posted an Instagram Story meant for one person and then deleted it 12 minutes later. I have googled "can you die from heartbreak" and texted my ex in the same hour. I own a water bottle and a vibrator that are both named Gary.

I'm not saying I'm not problematic. I'm saying that if anyone gets to say it, it's me. Or a medical professional with access to my file.

Not TikTok. Not some rando in the comments. And definitely not an entire generation that once collectively wore low-rise jeans and thought Vodka Cruisers were a personality.

I'll be honest: I do know a few unhinged Jessicas. But I also know some terrifying Brittanys, chaotic Laurens, rogue Emmas, and one Becky who still haunts me in my sleep.

Yet somehow, my name is the one being dragged through the algorithm.

People have even started ranking the Jessicas like characters in a rom-com: Jess is the quirky best friend with great hair and zero boundaries, Jessie is the ex who shows up at your wedding uninvited and Jessica is the main character, and the villain, and the screenwriter.

Other names being trialled in the court of public opinion include:

• Amanda (has been on thin ice for years)

• Lauren (specifically the one who bullied you in Year 9 and now sells essential oils via an MLM)

• Samantha (chaotic-neutral with a hair straightener addiction)

• Ashley, who peaked in 2007 and never recovered

• And Emily, who's somehow both innocent and terrifying all at once.

But they are not the villains. And neither is Jessica.

Jessica is the girl in the bathroom hyping you up while crying about her own situationship. Jessica is the one who'll send you a voice note, a spreadsheet and a meme about your breakup — all in one breath.

Jessica is the drama. But she's also the designated driver, the crisis PR rep and the emotional support hot girl.

So no, I won't let this slander stand. Jessica is not the next Karen. Some of us may be dramatic, yes. Emotionally inconsistent, sure. But villains? Absolutely not.

Although, now that I've written an entire article about it… I can totally see how you got there.

Feature image: Supplied.