Jessica Simpson made exactly zero sense during her Ellen DeGeneres interview.

Jessica Simpson has never really be known for her eloquence, but she pushed the adorably ignorant schtick a bit too far while on The Ellen DeGeneres Show this week.

The awkward, exasperating interview started with talk of pregnancy and mermaids tumbling from the singer’s mouth and ended up with her putting her foot in it, by seemingly dismissing DeGeneres’ eight-year marriage to Portia De Rossi.

The host had asked the mum-of-two a simple enough question: how long she’d been with her husband Eric Johnson.

“Seven years now. Well, coming on seven years. Well actually, seven. It’s a long time. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a seven-year relationship. Other than with a woman. Well, not that kind.”

You mean the kind of relationship Ellen is in with a woman right now, Jessica?

The ever-charming DeGeneres chose to take the comments in her stride and press on with the interview, but not before giving the camera this look:

While that was arguably the low-point, the interview hadn't begun all that well, with Simpson sharing with the world that she had an IUD as she sat down (because she'd been pregnant during her last two times on the show, apparently.)

"Very exciting! I’m not pregnant on your show. Oh gosh, no. We have an IUD, it’s ... nothing gonna get in that uterus."

The 36-year-old then launched into what was probably supposed to be a funny anecdote abut her daughter Maxwell's birthday party and the mermaid-costumed women in her pool, but ended up being largely incoherent.

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"Silicone tails. They had ... manhandlers. It’s not called manhandlers ... No ... they had to be carried if they had to pee ... cos they can’t pee on my children in the pool. They pick ‘em up, and carry ‘em ... It’s a, it’s a business."

After she'd told DeGeneres she'd been with her husband for seven years, Simpson went on to say that he was talented enough to massage her in his sleep.

"Even if he’s snoring, somehow he knows how to massage my back. It’s a very awesome talent."

Clearly feeling compelled to correct her at this point, Degeneres said, "Maybe he’s not really sleeping, Jessica."

The interview finished with talk of Simpson's return to music and the "38, so maybe 36, or 39" songs she had ready to go for her next album.

"You DON’T have 38 songs," the 59-year-old said. "I doubt it."

Finally having had enough the host ended the conversation by telling the audience, "We’re going to take a break."

We bet you need one after that interview, Ellen. And maybe a glass of wine.

You can watch the complete train wreck here: