lifestyle

On trend for Summer: White. Cut-outs. And killer, cheese-grater abs.

When did body-bits become just another thing to trade in between seasons?

Last season, it was all about thigh gaps. Before that, Michelle Obama arms. And apparently, this coming Summer, Jesinta Campbell’s ‘cheese grater abs’ are the hot body “trend”.

Gah. They don’t sell them at the 7-11.

In a fairly confusing write up yesterday, we were alerted to the fact that “Jesinta Campbell’s ‘cheese grater’ is the new ‘hot dog legs.’ “ So stop eating, and fall into line, lemmings – because this article didn’t mess around when it came to directing your look for next season:

“Put down the cheese, summer is going to be all about cheese grater abs as witnessed at David Jones’ spring/summer showcase this week when Jesinta Campbell made her debut on the runway for the retailer.”

Here that, saddos? Your flat tummy isn’t going to cut it this summer, folks, we want chiselled abs.

WELL, NEWSFLASH: They don’t sell a six-pack at Westfield. They are worked for and well-deserved by models, personal trainers (which Jesinta is in training to become, btw), Madonna, sports people, or just those other-worldly people who enjoy a hard-core gym routine. Make no mistake, they dedicate hours and hours, sacrificing a variety of delicious carbohydrates and cheese, to earn themselves a cheese-grater.

Rock hard abs, now on sale for the easy price of twice-a-day gym sessions, carb-free diets, and endless sit ups!

The fashion industry has always put a great deal of pressure on the relationship women have with their bodies. Indeed, fashion trends have come and gone, dragging with them a long list of physical requirements. The mini-skirt movement of the 1960’s firmly recommended long and lanky pins. The Guess/ Versace glam of the 1990’s appealed for very large, very round, and very pert breasts. Heroin Chic a la Miss Moss arched an eyebrow at anyone over 50 kgs, and the bandage dress phase held big, juicy booties as a non-negotiable prerequisite.

Seriously though, when defining the shortlist for The New Black every season, the fashion illuminati must have a difficult decision on their hands. “What will it be, folks? Culottes, lobs, or studded sandals? Oh, wait, I’ve got it. ABS. Abs are The New Black!”

And so, yet again, we’re being instructed what we need to do to our bodies to be acceptable.

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In telling us all that these rock-hard, toned, muscular bodies are in fashion, we are inadvertently being taught that anything that dares challenge that look is unfashionable. Not only that, but undesirable. And thus, every woman with a wobbly tum, or saggy bum, or floppy arms, are told they are nothing. Not fashionable, not cool, not beautiful, not good enough.

Maybe this is the way to get a “cheese-grater”? Who could forget paprazzi boss Darryn Lyon’s abs transplant, as shown off on Celebrity Big Brother?

In the article, Jesinta’s dedication to her training was completely disregarded, her body declared a ‘trend’, and flaunted as nothing more than an accessory for the David Jones parade.

But our bodies should not be treated like a Mr Potato Head toy that can be switched around on a whim – toned abs one day, round bum the next, size C boobs for Monday and maybe a slightly smaller nose for Friday afternoon.

Just take a look at Jesinta’s hard-core work out routine… (post continues after video)

Fashion will eternally chase the angular clothes horse, but that doesn’t mean that the rest of us should be consigned to the scrap-heap. There is no “perfect” when it comes to the female form – it is a matter of personal aesthetic, our body types and our own health and wellbeing. I can promise every one of you out there with a wobbly tum, or saggy bum, or floppy arms, this does not define you – nor do the clothes you wear.

Slowly, we are seeing more variety of body shapes in our advertising, but fashion has a long way to go to let go of its ‘smaller is always better’ mantra.

My health and body (including my stomach!) are mine to own, love, and sculpt as I bloody well wish – and I will never, ever cheapen them to something as interchangeable and flippant as an accessory.

What do you think? Would you change your body for a fashion trend?

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