Jennifer Aniston got an empty birthday piñata from Justin Theroux. And it gets worse.

By all accounts, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are happily married, a rarity in Hollywood.

The couple look all kinds of glamorous side-by-side, they know how to handle paparazzi and squash pregnancy rumours, have celebrity chums but aren’t, you know, show-y about it, and love to get away from it all with a beach holiday across the border.

They’re great. Swell. Rock solid. But… are they good at jokes? Aniston’s on-screen history of joke-making says yes, but a recent interview between Theroux and E! News correspondent Marc Malkin says not even a little bit.

So apparently, the pair regularly pop down to Cabo San Lucas in Mexico to unwind and did so for Aniston's recent birthday, along with her bestie Courtney Cox.

Theroux was in charge of party preparations and decided to embrace a Mexican theme with a much-loved children's birthday classic.

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“We do special things. I did a little night for her birthday where we went to a special dinner and had a piñata," he told E! News. 

Such fun! But, WAIT. There's more...

"Actually, we didn't put anything in the piñata. We had a piñata and didn't end up smashing," he continued, probably with a cheeky grin.

A piñata. An empty piñata. For your 48th birthday.

And just when you thought it couldn't get any darker, he explained why:

"What are you going to put in it? Kale? She doesn't eat candy!"

DOESN'T EAT CANDY.

For one thing, there's certainly a tasty medium somewhere between kale and candy, not to mention a world of tiny and charming inanimate objects which could have filled that god damn piñata to the brim.

But whatever. Each to their own. Relationship go- *bursts into tears*

Is it any wonder celebrities are constantly getting divorced?!! GET IT TOGETHER, HOLLYWOOD.