'The names of Jamie Oliver's 5 children keep me up at night.'

There are a few things that keep me up at night.

The state of *gestures wildly* the world. The cost of living. The dire housing market.

But mostly, I think about the names of celebrity chef Jamie Oliver's children.

These names are so unexpected and randomly rogue.

It's a dynasty of delightful names.

Oliver married his wife, former model and writer Juliette 'Jools' Norton, in the year 2000. The couple welcomed their first daughter in 2002 and would have four more kids in the following two decades.

Their names? Not just yet, but let's just say that Jamie Oliver is known for his way with words.

Like Nigella Lawson's 'micro-warve', Oliver has his own unique way of speaking in his cooking specials — it's what's made him a household name for decades and the unofficial king of Christmas recipes.

Okay, let's run through these wonderful names one by one…

Poppy Honey Rosie.

Image: Instagram/@joolsoliver.

Beginning with the wonderful daughter who started it all: Miss Poppy Honey Rosie.

When Jules was asked by Gurgle magazine how she landed on a name, she said: "They all have more than one name because I couldn't decide."

And why should anyone decide between the names Poppy, Honey and Rosie, when you can have them all?

I do think that Poppy cancels Rosie out as a double-up of flowery names, but the drip of honey in between makes it totally work.

Daisy Boo Pamela.

Image: Instagram/@joolsoliver.

Okay, now we're cooking!

Can you think of a more beautiful synergy than combining the flower Daisy, the sound of fear 'boo!' and the rogue addition of Pamela?

Perfect, no notes!

Petal Blossom Rainbow.

Image: Instagram/@joolsoliver.

This family are clearly all about flower power with their third daughter being named Petal. But in case you missed the memo, they've added Blossom to make it abundantly clear.

But just when we got complacent, they sprinkled on Rainbow on the end. Keeping us on our toes, those Olivers!

Jools has admitted she didn't realise that her daughter's name had a plastic pony parallel. "I'm not sure where Petal Blossom Rainbow came from - apparently it's a My Little Pony," she told Gurgle.

"I wanted to call her Rainbow but Jamie told me to calm down."

Don't worry Jools, there are more children to come!

Buddy Bear Maurice.

Image: Instagram/@joolsoliver.

With the birth of the couple's first son, they ditched the floral imagery. Instead, they chose another rather unexpected combination: Buddy, aka one's pal, then Bear, you know like the type you find hunting fish in a river, and then… Maurice, because why not, Maurice???

"With Buddy, it was quite fun choosing a boy's name as I hadn't done it before," Jools told Gurgle.

"I hate people's opinions on names. Whatever you call your baby is your decision." So true!

River Rocket Blue Dallas.

Image: Instagram/@joolsoliver.

Okay wait, what's going on here? I spy FOUR names, breaking the much-treasured tradition of a trio of Oliver monikors.

But don't worry, it's still a whole journey. Starting with River, which is actually a rather normal name, but then we jump straight into Rocket, Blue, and finally Dallas. It paints a picture!

The name River is said to have been inspired by the restaurant Jamie was working at as a sous chef when he was discovered by the BBC: the River Cafe in Fulham back in 1997.

Big fan of River Rocket Blue Dallas, as I am of all these wonderful Oliver offspring.

I just wish they didn't occupy the brain space that I might need to like, remember to do my taxes.

Feature image: Food Network.