James Van Der Beek had to come 'nose to nose with death' to learn one very important lesson.

Four months after announcing his cancer diagnosis, actor James Van Der Beek has celebrated his 48th birthday by reflecting on what he says has been the "hardest year of my life".

"I wanted to share something that I learnt with y'all," he said in a recent Instagram video.

"When I was younger, I used to define myself as an actor, which was never really all that fulfilling. And then I became a husband, and that was much better. And then I became a father, and that was the ultimate. I could define myself, then, as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father."

Van Der Beek went on to say that, for a long time, he thought he had a solid understanding of identity. Until his cancer diagnosis made him confront his own mortality.

Watch: James Van Der Beek on fatherhood and fame. Post continues after video.

"I had to come nose to nose with death, and all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband that was helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them."

He continued, saying he was faced with a question: "If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy alone in an apartment with cancer, what am I? And I meditated, and the answer came through.

"I am worthy of God's love simply because I exist. And if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I also be worthy of my own? And the same is true for you."

Van Der Beek said that if mindset feels too religious, his fans "can take the word God out".

"Your mantra can simply be, 'I am worthy of love,' because you are. Thank you for the love and prayers, everyone. Have a blessed day."

While Van Der Beek used his birthday to share this message with fans, his wife Kimberly Brook posted her own tribute to the actor.

Kimberly posted a birthday tribute for her husband. Image: Instagram/@vanderkimberly

"May our hearts continue to dance together for many many many many more more birthdays," she wrote on Instagram.

"You are a treasure. I feel like the luckiest lady in the world to be married to you. May this year bring you so much laughter, dancing, deepening connection with God, exceptional health and exquisite beauty all around — plus, of course — family snuggles, sunrises, sunsets, play and restorative rest."

In November 2024, Van Der Beek shared that he had been diagnosed with colorectal cancer, which is a type of cancer that affects the colon or the rectum.

"I've been privately dealing with this diagnosis and have been taking steps to resolve it, with the support of my incredible family," the actor confirmed to PEOPLE.

"There's reason for optimism, and I'm feeling good."

Soon after talking to the magazine, he posted the story on his own social media, and also called out other tabloid titles that reported it before he could open up.

"There's no playbook for how announce these things, but I'd planned on talking about it at length with PEOPLE at some point soon… to raise awareness and tell my story on my own terms," he said.

"But that plan had to be altered early this morning when I was informed that a tabloid was going to run with the news."

He added, "I've been dealing with this privately until now, getting treatment and dialling in my overall health with greater focus than ever before. I'm in a good place and feeling strong. It's been quite the initiation, and I'll tell you more when I'm ready."

Van Der Beek and his family. Image: Instagram/@vanderjames

Van Der Beek first rose to fame as the face of the idyllic, fictional Capeside in Dawson's Creek.

Twenty years later, he lives with his wife and six children — daughters Olivia, Annabel, Emilia, Gwendolyn, and sons Joshua and Jeremiah — worlds away from that seaside New England location, on a ranch south of Austin in the Lone Star State.

"We wanted to get the kids out of Los Angeles. We wanted to give them space and we wanted them to live in nature," he previously told Austin Lifestyle.

"It's expansive and nature will hug you and heal you," Brook added, sharing that the couple had experienced two miscarriages at 17 weeks in 2019 and 2020, and felt like the relocation would be healing.

Over the years, Van Der Beek has spoken at length about fatherhood, and regularly muses on his learnings, mistakes and observations.

"I think fatherhood changes you from the inside out," he told PEOPLE in 2020. "It's not this thing where you think, 'Oh, I have to be responsible, I have to take more on.' You just want to, almost automatically."

The 48-year-old and his wife Kimberly also told the publication that their large brood of six children was very much a fluke.

"Well, we love having kids, but we didn't really plan it out," Kimberly said. "It just happened. We had one planned child."

Van Der Beek added, "One! Out of six. One was 100 per cent on purpose. The one thing we really sucked at was not getting pregnant. But thank God, honestly, because it's such a struggle for people, and we really don't take it for granted."

Van Der Beek and his son. Image: Instagram/@vanderjames

He also opened up about undergoing a vasectomy to finally put a cap on their large family. Once he'd had the procedure, he briefed the kids not to run up and hug him as his 'private parts' might be a bit sore.

"My youngest daughter looked me straight in the eye and said, 'Daddy, I hope your vagina feels better,'" he laughed. "I was like, 'Is she taking a shot at me?'"

Along the same lines, he's had to school his children not to refer to his cancer as 'butt cancer'.

"One thing I've asked every doctor is, 'What are the odds that I can get my kids to stop calling it 'butt cancer'? The prognosis is never good on that one," he joked.

But in all seriousness, it's clear his diagnosis at such a young age has taken its toll on the family.

Kimberly said, "This has been a really difficult year, but there's been this underlying way that we savour life differently. It feels like we understand what real true presence is, what savouring life feels like, finding the beauty in all of it."

"There's no way to get through this without her," Van Der Beek said through tears.

"As much as it sucked this past year, there's not a moment that I ever would have wanted to trade with her watching me go through this.

"To every caregiver out there, man, God bless you and thank you."

Feature Image: Instagram/@vanderkimberly/@vanderjames

This article was originally published on July 24, 2023 and has since been updated with new information.