Is this the male underwear of the future? (So very NSFW.)

Attention, Mamamia readers.

Because it’s a Monday morning, and because we know you’re having trouble waking up even after two large coffees… we bring you this. It’s called the Side String. And there has never been a pair of underwear that brings up so many questions while providing such little support few answers.

For example – how does it stay up? How do you put it on? What’s it made of? How is it possibly worth 22 euros (about AU$27)? And the most important question of all – WHY DOES THIS ITEM EVEN EXIST???

Let’s look at the back view. Perhaps that will offer some more hints.

Nope, we’re still baffled. Actually, baffled is probably an understatement. Perplexed, confused, befuddled, aghast.

The side string is the invention of a French company called Alter, who are generally known for producing largely impractical underwear. It’s made of a fabric that has a lot of elastic in it. Understandably.

All the men out there will be happy to know that if blue isn’t quite their colour… there’s also a black version.

Thank goodness for that, right? Super masculine. Whereas the blue is more…. flirty, fun?

The Huffington Post has diplomatically described the garment as a “minimalist” undergarment. We have genuinely no idea whether it would be comfortable or not, but it has some rave (French) reviews on the website, and an incredibly high rating of 4.5 stars.

Because we have not yet learned the meaning of the phrase “curiosity killed the cat”, we translated some of the phrases:

“l’utilisation du produit est aisée. je le recommanderai à ceux qui recherchent un string confortable non irritant”

= the use of the product is easy. I recommend it to anyone looking for a comfortable non-irritating string

Are there people out there looking for comfortable non-irritating strings? Question – who are these people?!

trés confortables

= very comfortable

Well, that answers that question.

Agréable à porter sauf en cas d’érection

= Wearable unless erection

Fantastic.

Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to frantically start clearing our Google search history…

Do you think the side string is the male underwear of the future?