Just hours after his death, Robin Williams was called a coward.

By KATE LEAVER

Meet the least popular man in America right now. The man who called comedian Robin Williams a coward just hours after his death.

Shepard Smith wondered aloud yesterday on live television how Williams, a father of three, could have taken his own life:

“It’s hard to imagine, isn’t it? You could love three little things so much, watch them grow, they’re in their mid-20s, and they’re inspiring you, and exciting you, and they fill you up with the kind of joy you could never have known.”

“And yet, something inside you is so horrible or you’re such a coward or whatever the reason that you decide that you have to end it. Robin Williams, at 63, did that today.”

The reaction to his words was immediate and fierce.

Smith was called insensitive, sick, weak, cruel, and a number of names too offensive to publish. People called for his resignation. They demanded that Fox News fire him on the spot. The consensus on social media was that referring to suicide as an “act of cowardice” is unforgivable.

And it is.

But what Smith said, is sadly, not a unique thought.

The American newsreader is not alone in thinking that suicide is cowardly. Many in our community, misguidedly, hold the very same view that has earned Smith widespread condemnation.

Describing suicide as “selfish” and “cowardly” isn’t unusual. It’s the norm. It is a sentiment that usually comes from a place of misplaced compassion. And perhaps a lack of direct experience with depression.

The thought process is this: How could the person who did this possibly abandon their family and cause so much pain to anyone who ever loved them >> How could anything possibly be so bad that you would leave the people you love >> It was selfish of this person to leave this world.

The logic is understandable. But it’s equally dangerous.

Georgie Harman, Beyond Blue CEO explains that suicide is an act of desperation, not cowardice.

She told Mamamia that calling a suicidal person selfish is like telling someone with dementia to stop being forgetful. It’s the final act of someone who simply cannot face existence anymore.

“To call suicide selfish or cowardly is dangerous, ill-informed, and abhorrent. I’ve known so many people who have attempted suicide, and not one of them is a coward” said Harman.

“When people try to take their own life, they do it because they think there is no other way out of the pain. And far from being selfish, they actually think they’re a burden to their family and that they’d be better off without them. That’s never true, but that’s what depression can make someone think.”

While Harman is of course disgusted by Smith’s comments , she acknowledges that a lot of people think the same way.

“Suicide is complicated, it’s stark and violent and sad,” she said.

“It’s difficult to understand, especially when someone appears to be doing well. With Robin Williams, we all think he had such a great life, we connected with him, he made us laugh, and he seemed like a happy guy. But for him, it didn’t matter how we saw him. It mattered how he saw himself, and that was warped by an illness he could not control. He was in such horrible pain, he saw no other way out.”

Harman’s words remind us what the critical element of any conversation or discussion of suicide must come down to: a simple question.  At the very end of my phone call with Georgie Harman, she paused and asked, “Kate, are you okay?”

If you know someone who may be struggling or contemplating suicide, start with that simple question and then direct them to seek professional help.

In the past 24 hours, calls to the Beyond Blue helpline have increased by 50 per cent.

So Australians are getting the message: If you’re not okay, get help. Getting help for yourself or a friend is an act of extreme bravery. Here are the numbers you might need.

Please consider calling Lifeline on 13 11 14, or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636.

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14 perfect moments when Robin Williams made us laugh and cry.

Why it’s OK to grieve for a famous stranger.