'My story about boyfriends being embarrassing went viral. I'm doubling down.'

With one question, Chanté Joseph created one of the biggest social media frenzies of the year. 

In a now-viral article for Vogue, the journalist asked: Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?

By interviewing different people, Joseph questioned why women are soft-launching their boyfriends on social media, covering their face with an emoji rather than shouting about them from the rooftops. Was this a sign, in 2025, that it is officially cringe to have a boyfriend?

Since the article was published, many group chats have been set alight. Some love the piece. Some hate it.

Now, the journalist herself has addressed the viral response on Mamamia's podcast, The Quicky.

Watch the This Is Why We Fight podcast trailer. Post continues below.

Speaking on the podcast, Joseph told host Taylah Strano that she understood why the title of the article struck a nerve for those who "see their relationships as a marker of their own success".

But, the journalist argued, the piece went far beyond a clicky headline.

The intention of the article was to explore if the "heterosexual romantic fantasy" still holds weight.

"Do people still tether their value and their worth to whether or not they are partnered, particularly partnered with a man?" she asked.

By writing the piece, Joseph wanted to unpack what it is about the "state of men" and the "collective awareness of women" that is influencing how we represent our relationships online.

"We need to look at heterosexuality as a political institution," she told Mamamia. "The hetero-patriarchy that we live under has, for so long, never benefited women, and now it's getting to the point where it's just deeply unpopular."

In a climate where men are leaning more conservative, Joseph suggested that women don't want to compromise their "values, beliefs and politics" to be in a relationship.

"When I'm saying, 'Oh, is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?' It's like, have we got to a point where we are so aware of this structure that we're living under that, now, dating men just feels wrong, almost."

For the article, Joseph heard many reasons why women don't flaunt their men on social media. One said they didn't want to be defined by their relationship, while another was worried she'd lose the respect of her friend.

"[The friends] had a relationship that was built on this shared mistrust for men," Joseph said. "Now you're in a relationship with a man and it's changed your dynamic. So even in our interpersonal relationships, it's really creating a shift."

By hearing women's stories, Joseph wanted to investigate "heterosexuality and where we are at politically as women".

"There is so much about our relationships that we actually just tolerate. Women will constantly complain about the misogyny that they face from men, sexism from men, how much they dislike and distrust men and, even though they feel this way, they still date, and they still marry, and they still end up with men."

Listen to the full episode of The Quicky below. Post continues afterwards.

As women, Joseph suggested we've grown too "comfortable" with the heterosexual experience that "we don't actively want to change it".

But if we "really investigate everything that we have considered normal in our romantic relationships with men, you start to realise that no, this is insane," she said.

"You're married to a man, you're cooking and cleaning and taking care of the baby, and he's playing games, and this weird stuff that we think is so funny. It's like, dad's taking care of the kids, the baby's in the microwave again. What the hell, guys? This is not normal for us to infantilise men, particularly in heterosexual relationships."

At the end of the day, Joseph's intention wasn't to give women an existential crisis about posting their boyfriend online, it was about starting a conversation.

"I don't want to dictate to people how they should live their life… I just think there's an awareness that needs to be had," she told The Quicky. "I think my beef was more with people who wanted to post their boyfriend but his head had disappeared from the picture, or there was an emoji over his face… why do you want to do that?"

By writing the article, Joseph wanted women to consider ways they might be "accepting less" than they deserve from their boyfriend.

"I'm not saying don't post your boyfriend, but I just wanted to have a conversation about our relationships, what we see as normal, what we see as acceptable, and really question and challenge that."

Feature Image: Instagram/@chantayyjayy