'How "battery boys" saved my committed relationship.'

You know that little spark you get when someone flirts with you? That confidence boost that makes you walk a little taller? Well, what if I told you that 90 per cent of people in committed relationships still enjoy these moments of harmless flirtation — and they're not afraid to admit it?

The term "battery boy" (or girl, or person) — coined in a recent Bustle article — refers to someone who gives you that extra charge of confidence and validation, all while you're happily committed to your partner.

Think of them as your personal confidence charger, no strings attached.

But why do so many of us seek out these playful interactions, and what makes them different from genuine romantic pursuits?

Watch: Relationship red flags. Post continues after video.

"Flirting is a way of eliciting validation about attractiveness," Elisabeth Shaw, CEO of Relationships Australia, told Mamamia.

"Often referred to as 'harmless flirtation', it may be a mutual alertness to attraction and banter, while being very clear it will never be acted upon. Many people like the reassurance that they've 'still got it', and it is a boost to self-esteem."

When Mamamia surveyed people in committed relationships about their flirting habits, one theme emerged consistently: it's all about feeling seen, validated, and alive.

"It feels good to feel wanted. Fine if it's harmless," one respondent shared.

Another explained, "Sometimes you just vibe with someone and match their energy, so it's easy to get lost in it without realising your behaviour could be misconstrued as flirting. Energy is infectious sometimes!"

For many, these interactions aren't calculated moves, but natural expressions of personality.

"I guess it's my personality, too. I don't even realise I am flirting but all my friends/people around me say I flirt," one person admitted.

"If you're not having playful banter with workmates, then they aren't real mates."

According to Shaw, people with an anxious attachment style may be more likely to flirt.

"People who are more anxious about their value and lovability may be more likely to seek this sort of reassurance, as are people who are more narcissistic," said the counselling psychologist.

"

But what exactly constitutes "harmless" flirting? The lines can be blurry. For some, it's as simple as maintaining warm eye contact or sharing a laugh. Others describe it as "cheeky banter that you're not afraid to participate in, in front of many people."

The key seems to be transparency and intention — or rather, the lack of ulterior motives.

"It is all about context," said Shaw. "If it is part of a pattern with your partner, then you'd at least want to draw it to their attention and ask about it.

"If it makes you uncomfortable, then ask yourself if that is an insecurity you have carried throughout your life, or unique to this relationship. In a good relationship, your partner should be concerned that it bothers you and work with you to resolve it."

Most respondents were crystal clear about their boundaries. Physical touch, private messaging, and developing actual feelings were universally considered out of bounds.

"As long as you're open about being in a relationship when it comes down to it. If there's no intention to hook up, kiss, date, get a phone number, then it's fine," one participant explained.

Interestingly, many people suggested that these playful interactions were actually beneficial to their primary relationship, and in some cases have even saved it from ending.

"If you can openly have the odd flirt, generally it's a little ego boost to go home and enjoy the confidence with your partner," shared one respondent.

Another was more philosophical: "I flirt because I am my own person, not owned by my husband. I would hate to think he's stifled by being in a relationship with me, and I wouldn't change how I am just because I'm married. As long as we come home to each other, why is friendly interaction with other people a bad thing?"

Still, Shaw warns about the potential risks.

"In very strong, secure relationships, a generous partner might be understanding of the ego boost it can bring, see it as a bit of harmless fun, and not be threatened by it," said the psychologist. "It will always be risky, and potentially hurtful and disruptive, if it looks like active pursuit of it has been in play."

Indeed, not everyone sees harmless flirting as, well, harmless.

One respondent shared their experience: "I have had a partner [describe their behaviour as] very light-hearted friendly banter, and it quickly escalated to infidelity. I think it's disrespectful, and whether you meant to jump in their pants or not, it still has an intention to get their attention."

At the end of the day, it all comes down to intention, and what you're getting out of the flirting.

"If you start to feel like that validation is important to pursue, rather than it happening more by chance as a one-off, then that is telling you that more is going on for you," said Shaw.

"You might ask yourself: why do I need this? What is driving it? Is there a lack in my life or other relationships?"

Perhaps the most striking revelation from our survey wasn't just how many people engage in casual flirting, but how thoughtfully they've considered their motivations and boundaries.

While 90 per cent admitted to some form of flirting, they all emphasised the importance of transparency and respect for their primary relationship, which is key.

So, what do you think, are you team battery or not?

Feature Image: Getty.