"My MIL is giving my 2-year-old daughter coffee. And I'm furious."

I’m pretty easy going. But not on this.

I’m fuming at my mother-in-law.

My husband and I both work full time, and my mother-in-law offers to look after our adorable 2-year-old girl 2 days a week. The other 3 she goes to day care.

Now, I am very grateful to my MIL. Don’t get me wrong. I am not one of those mums that complains all the time that the person doing them a favour is annoying.

Sure, my MIL does some things that go against my parenting rules. But look, they are so small and insignificant it doesn’t matter. Instead I teach my daughter that there are Nan-rules and Mum-and-Dad-rules.

But all those little things weren’t harmful to my little girl.

So the other day, I was clearly upset when my daughter told me what my MIL has been doing. At the coffee shop, she reached for my mug of latte. And when I told her she couldn’t have any, she threw a tantrum.

Once I settled her down and explained to her that coffee wasn’t for children, she said, “But Nan lets me”.

Turns out my MIL takes her to the coffee shop. And lets her have a few sips of her coffee.

Let me just say that again.

Now, I pretty much let my daughter eat everything and anything. Nothing is on a "banned" list. But coffee. If I had a banned list. Coffee for a 2-year-old would be on it.

It suddenly made sense why she doesn't sleep well at night after a day at my MIL. I always thought it was because she wouldn't have had as much play as she does at day care. Instead it's because she has caffeine going through her.

And the bouncing off the wall when I picked her up? Sure, all 2-year-olds are hyperactive. But I am sure some of this coffee is just making that little bundle of energy even more energetic.

I'm so mad.

I spoke to my husband and asked him to confront her. I have a good relationship with my MIL - yes, I know, it's rare and don't want to ruin it.

But he said he didn't want to make her upset. And made some lame excuse.

Now that puts me in a difficult position. I don't know whether I should ask her to not give our daughter coffee (she is a pretty emotional person and will probably make a big deal about it). Or, if I should just put my daughter in daycare 5 days a week (which truthfully we can't really afford).

Has anyone else had issues with their MIL? And how do you handle it?

Do you have any advice for this reader? Or do you think she should just let it go?

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