Guttural screaming and 1 hour of compliments: The latest 'daily rituals' nobody asked for.

Lately, it feels like everyone's a wellness guru, desperately trying to unlock their best self. I'm all for self-improvement, but some of the "rituals" popping up on the internet are… something else entirely. And by something else, I mean deeply upsetting.

I've stumbled upon two particular gems recently that have left me questioning everything I thought I knew about modern self-care. Prepare yourselves, because this is going to be a ride.

First up, we have the "compliment hour." Yes, you read that correctly. An hour. Of mandated compliments. This glorious insight into modern relationships comes courtesy of #loudluxury influencer Becca Bloom, who, along with her husband, shared their "five controversial rules" for a successful marriage on TikTok. Among gems like "he pays for everything" and "they don't talk negatively about each other in public" (which, honestly, fair enough), was the absolute showstopper: He spends one hour a week showering her with compliments. To which Becca responds, "I love my compliment hour." Queen behaviour.

@beccaxbloom Unpopular things we do in our relationship 👀 #relationship #relationshiptips #datingadviceforwomen #datingadvice #dating101 ♬ original sound - Becca Bloom

At first, I thought "goals." But then I began to think about what it would actually be like taking part in a compliment hour. Sitting there, stopwatch ticking, while someone performs affection for 60 whole minutes? Is there a checklist? A quota of unique adjectives? Do you get bonus points for tears? My inner cynic is having a field day, but my outer self is just… confused. While I wouldn't mind a few unsolicited compliments here and there (who wouldn't?), the idea of scheduling them feels less like romance and more like a career performance review.

Moving swiftly from forced affection to forced aggression, let me introduce you to the "rage ritual." Because meditating peacefully is so millennial coded (jk, please don't @ me). This particular wellness trend involves channelling all your deep-seated anger and suppressed emotions into a cathartic release, usually through screaming or, even better, physically hitting things.

Watch: Do you have a rage ritual? Post continues below.

The premise is that you delve into all your grievances, from childhood traumas to that passive-aggressive email you got this morning, and then just… unleash. Ideally, you do this in a "safe manner," which apparently means finding a private outdoor space and having a go at the ground with a stick.

For those of us not blessed with a vast, private woodland retreat, intuitive advisor Mia Magik suggested to Bustle… "pushing against a wall while repeatedly shouting, 'Get away from me!'" Which, honestly, comes with its own set of faults. 1. My neighbours would be extremely worried, 2. walls don't move, so it doesn't seem as satisfying. And 3. Did anyone ever consider that your rage might rebound off the wall and fall back into you? It's called science, people, come on.

Listen: The author of this article discusses these modern rituals on the Mamamia Out Loud podcast. Post continues below.

Personally, I'm a connoisseur of the classic "scream into a pillow" technique. It's surprisingly effective, relatively quiet, and minimises the risk of being mistaken for a banshee by your neighbours. But I have to admit, seeing this elevated to a ritual makes me feel slightly less unhinged about my occasional pillow-muffled outbursts.

Some of my other personal rage rituals include running through an empty field as fast as I can, telling inanimate objects to "STFU", scrunching up a piece of foil and my personal favourite… taking a marker or texter and just rage scribbling on a piece of paper, a similar technique to the way toddlers colour in.

But back to these internet "rituals." While the idea of a structured "rage release" or a "compliment hour" might sound eye-rolly, everyone can relate to wanting to process their emotions and feel good about themselves. It's just… some of us prefer a glass of wine and a good rant to a stick and an empty field. Or, you know, just accepting a compliment when it comes, rather than demanding an entire hour of them.

Ultimately, whether you're screaming into a pillow or patiently enduring an hour of forced adoration, the goal is the same: to cope with the absolute chaos that is modern life. Just promise me you won't ask your partner for a "compliment hour" after reading this. Unless, of course, you really, really want to.

If you want more from Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

Feature image: Canva.