"I tried an Instyler. Minutes later I could smell my hair burning."

Image via Instyler

Look, straight up, I am what is considered a marketer’s dream. I spend WAY too much time awake when I should be asleep and as such, have been known to, over the years, purchase the kind of items that attract a free set of steak knives.

So you can only imagine, when I looked up from my keyboard one night to see an advert for the Instyler, a hair straightening device that would supposedly make my hair less Paddle Pop lion and more Angelina Jolie, I pretty much just screamed: TAKE MY MONEY.

Now, curly-haired ladies out there will know where I’m coming from. Our curls and waves and frizz are a constant morning surprise package. It is considered both a blessing and a curse and don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike my curly hair, it’s just that sometimes I like to take a break from it.

When I do however, I have had to fork out sometimes over $80 to go from this:

To this:

So when the Instyler presented itself at practically the same price and would allow me to avoid the awkward hairdresser small talk, I was instantly in.

I watched something similar to this:

Straight hair from wet to dry? No damage to my hair? Finished in a matter of minutes? What kind of sorcery is this?!

Sooo, did the results match up to the promises? Hmmm, I’ll let you be the judge...

The Promise:

“Here's how it works: when you run the InStyler® rotating hot iron through your hair, the first set of bristles gently sort and separate your hair strands. Then the rotating heated polishing cylinder gently glides over your hair, smoothly polishing, straightening, and styling each strand. Finally, the second set of bristles puts the finishing touch on your hair, leaving you with shiny, silky, hair! And the best part is, because of the InStyler® rotating hot iron's patented design, your hair won't get smashed and baked by the super-intense heat of a flat iron or other "hot" tools."

The Reality:

I’ll let you be the judge…

So yeah. Not exactly sleek and shiny. That expanded to nearly double its size not ten minutes later. I used that sucker on my hair for over 45 minutes, by which time I felt as though my arms might very well just fall off. Oh, and that whole, “it won’t smash and burn your hair” line? Total overpromise. How do I know? Well, the undeniable smell of burning follicles kinda gave it away.

I tried using it with half of my head dry and the other damp. As you can see, there is no difference. Frizz is gonna frizz. I also put a heat protectant on one side (the right). Again, zero difference.

Notice too how it simply glides through that girls hair in the video? Yeah no. Look the thing about curly hair is that NOTHING glides through our hair. Not our lovers fingers, not our sunglasses and certainly not a rotating hot brush. I’ll admit I tried this product when I purchased it a year ago and after one try, I threw it in the cupboard disgusted. Today’s effort has not changed my mind.

Look, clearly this works for some. Maybe it’s me or my hair or maybe I’m just doing it wrong. Although really, there’s only one way to do it. Clearly it is designed to replace the hairdresser who skillfully brushes and straightens your hair in unison while in a salon, but I’m here to tell you that nothing can replace them. They know their craft. And I’m simply not patient enough and I don't have the upper body strength to match them.

In my defence, I was probably drunk when I bought this product and I may be a little too impulsive, but at least I’m not the moron who inspired the warning that comes with the Instyler:

Anyone else had success with this or a similar styling tool?

We think you'll also enjoy:

The 17 silliest hair fads of all time, ranked

If you couldn't do ghd curls before, we promise you can now

13 things you didn't know dry shampoo could do