We asked two teen girls to go through their phones in front of their mums. Here's what shocked them most.

Thanks to our brand partner, Optus

The phone buzzes. It's 2am. A hand reaches out towards it.

Checks the messages.

Rolls over, taps out a quick reply, and goes back to sleep.

This is not an unusual occurrence. Around the world, teenagers are finding their lives disrupted by the constant hum of digital communication and a 24/7 social world that never quite switches off.

So, I decided to investigate exactly what happens inside the phone of a teenage girl.

I spoke to two Australian teens to understand how they use social media, what type of content they're seeing, and the messages they receive to really take us behind the scenes. As the girls shared with us, their mothers watched on and gave their reaction.

This is what they told us.

Listen to the 3AM Club: Inside the Life of an Insomniac. Post continues below.

Zara and Sami.

It was a school night, around 6pm, when I called Zara, and her mother Sami, for a chat.

The 15-year-old told me when she wakes up each morning, her first instinct isn't to get dressed or grab breakfast.

Instead, she reaches for her phone, diving straight into TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat. It's a ritual that bookends her day; starting with a morning scroll and ending with hours of content consumption once she's tucked into bed.

"Normally I wake up, go on for a bit, then go back on," Zara said. "Once I get into bed, I am scrolling for hours."

Sami (left) and her daughter Zara.

Her digital world is carefully curated by algorithms that have learned her two core passions: travel and makeup.

Her TikTok feed is dominated by exotic destinations and beauty tutorials covering everything from mascara techniques to lip tutorials.

The platform has become her favourite, as it's tailored to feed her wanderlust and beauty interests.

"I really love travelling, so I love looking on social media about it," she said, adding she's already planning adventures for when she turns 18.

For Zara's generation, communication happens across multiple platforms simultaneously. She might be chatting with the same friend on Instagram, Snapchat (her preferred platform for messaging friends) and occasionally text messages.

"Sometimes I use text messages, but not as much as I do social media; just like if it's important or something," Zara said.

Despite acknowledging she uses her phone "too much," Zara admitted she "enjoys" her screen time.

Zara loves makeup and travel, and this the content she commonly sees on TikTok. Image: Supplied.

What surprised Zara's mother most about her daughter's social use, isn't the platforms she uses, but when she uses them.

Sami told me regular phone checks showed her daughter had sent messages at 2am and 3am — casual conversations about movie nights that happened well after the family went to sleep.

"There's so much stuff that can go on while you're asleep," Sami said.

"She's up at 2 or 3am saying, 'hey, what is going on? I'm just a movie night' and she's got a picture of a popcorn. I was like, 'oh my god, I didn't even know she was out of bed.'

"I'm actually surprised that she said she does use it a lot, because she does. I'm constantly telling her, 'Zara come on, it's time to go to sleep, you've been on it enough.'

In addition to having access to Zara's phone, Sami said she has also introduced "phone free" dinner time and family "game nights" to try and positively reduce screen time.

"Look, I am all for privacy, but if I find that Zara is not herself, or she's more quiet or just down, that's the one thing I always check; the phone," Sami said.

"You can't keep it away from them because then they get angry with you."

The mother added she's found reassurance in the fact her daughter has mostly positive online interactions and a supportive friend group.

"She's a pretty cool kid," Sami said with pride.

Chilli and Hayley.

Chilli (15) and mum Hayley. Image: Supplied.

I spoke to 15-year-old Chilli and her mother Hayley around midday on a school day, just before Chilli had to rush into an assembly.

Like Zara, Chilli said her phone is the first thing she reaches for each morning. Before breakfast, before getting dressed, she's already checking Snapchat messages, scrolling through Instagram stories, and diving into TikTok's endless feed.

"I mainly just wake up in the morning and it's usually the first thing that I check," Chilli explained. "I check who's texted me, like on Snapchat, I go on Instagram and check like stories, and scroll a little bit of TikTok ."

The teen said her smartphone serves as her gateway to fashion inspiration and friends — but it's also delivering content she never asked to see.

Her TikTok feed is her primary concern.

Chilli said the platform occasionally pushes explicit OnlyFans content into her algorithm.

"It gets really pushed and forced," she said, describing how inappropriate content appears without her seeking it.

"I don't see TikTok as a good thing, but it's not easy to let go of because you have a lot of things that you hold on on there, like your communications and like your influencers and stuff."

This unwanted content has become a regular conversation topic between Chilli and her mother, Hayley. They have deployed the "block, ban, delete" strategy, so TikTok's algorithm doesn't tend to target her too much anymore.

The mother daughter duo have enforced a 'block, ban, delete' strategy for TikTok. Image: Supplied.

"Chilli does quite often say, 'Mum, like, why am I always having to see half naked women?'" Hayley explained. "And it is mainly women, not men, that are jumping around, vying for attention, taking their clothes off."

Hayley said she's not overly worried about her teen's social media use, because they have such an open and transparent relationship.

"I think that's probably the key message. Like, it's all well and good to sit your kids in front of devices and it might give you a little bit of a brain break momentarily, but you have to have an open communication with them," she said.

"I'm on the platforms as well, and I see the stuff, and I'm very active with my children. I'm always checking in on them, so I know that that's happening."

So, despite the occasional content concern, Chilli maintains an active presence across multiple platforms.

She prefers Instagram over TikTok, because it delivers "a much funnier feed," while she uses Snapchat primarily for close friend communications.

Facebook is irrelevant, with Chilli noting it's really only used by some friends for work purposes.

"It's ancient," she said with a laugh.

Similar to Zara, Chilli said all her friends are accessible across all apps, creating a seamless but potentially overwhelming social network that operates around the clock.

The teen is honest about her phone dependency.

"I wish I wasn't so addicted to my phone," Chilli admitted. "It's really hard to not get up in the morning and not check it, because it's the first thing you think of."

Finding peace and disconnecting.

Reducing screen time shouldn't be about setting "strict limits," Breanna Jayne Sada, an expert child and adolescence psychologist and ambassador for Jumble & Co, said.

"It's about teaching balance and building awareness," she told Mamamia.

"One simple but effective strategy is to delay the urge. When the impulse to check a phone or open an app or turn on the TV comes up, try delaying it by 10 to 30 minutes. Often, the craving passes, and you realise it wasn't as urgent as it felt.

"This helps build impulse control, a key skill for managing emotions and focus. Before you know it you've cut screen time down by an hour already."

Breanna said setting screen-free zones around the house, like Sami has implemented with her dining room, can be effective when done in collaboration with the whole family.

"Another strategy I encourage teens to use is to replace," she added.

"So, replace screen time with healthy alternatives, so change feels less like a punishment and more like an opportunity, and even fun. Encourage teens to find activities that bring joy or connection sport, art, journaling, music, or spending time with friends in person.

"Even something small, like calling a friend instead of messaging, adds a real-world layer to connection that scrolling on social media can't replicate."

Breanna added that building mindfulness is another way to become more present and disconnect.

"To build mindfulness, start small," she said.

"Mindfulness doesn't have to be perfect; it's a practice."

So where can you start?

Slowing down every day.

It's all "micro-pauses" to begin with.

"Try slowing down everyday moments like eating breakfast outside without a screen and notice the sounds you hear and the texture of what you are eating, walking the dog without headphones, or taking three deep breaths before opening a message or notification," Breanna said.

"One of the simplest and most effective mindfulness tools is journaling. One of the simplest and most effective mindfulness tools is journaling. Putting thoughts to paper helps young people process emotions, slow their thinking, and notice patterns in how they feel."

Other easy techniques include:

• Using "mindful anchors," like feeling their feet on the ground or noticing their breathing.

• Getting in touch with your five senses. Like spending five minutes outside and describing what they see, hear, and smell.

• Practising gratitude, noting one thing they're thankful for each day.

• Leaving your phone in another room.

Breanna said there's no right or wrong way to build these habits, but added that even a "few intentional moments of awareness" every day can "make a big difference in how calm, connected, and centred a teen feels."

Feature image: Canva.

Optus is helping families navigate a changing online world with the Optus' Digital Thumbprint program supporting young people and families to achieve, thrive and belong in today's digital world. The program supports digital safety and wellbeing through free, curriculum-aligned in-school workshops and a range of resources for use at home.