'I've been a teacher for 30 years. Now, I'd rather work at McDonalds than step into a classroom again.'

Karen never thought this day would come. The day her love for teaching would end. But it has.

"30 years ago when I started teaching there was far more respect for teachers. What I mean is respect from the students, and respect from parents. That's gone out the window," she tells Mamamia.

It's been "death by a thousand cuts". But there's one incident that "sunk the boot in".

It was a normal sunny Monday morning when Karen heard the school bell ring at 9am.

"It was a year five class, and I had a few students who were acting up. But one of the boys was particularly violent. He would regularly try to kick me in the shin or would yell curse words, and throw pencils at me," says Karen.

"On this occasion, literally 15 minutes into class starting, he was seeing red. This boy managed to pick up his chair and throw it at me. It just scraped my left arm as I managed to dodge it, so I wasn't badly hurt. But I completely lost it."

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"I burst into tears, I yelled at him to 'get out' of the classroom. I could see the kids in the room were worried themselves, so I quickly took a deep breath, squeezed my fingernails into my palms and asked the support assistant teacher in the room to please escort the boy to the principal's office."

Karen says she managed to get the class back on track for the rest of the morning's lesson. But the damage had been done. She didn't feel safe at work anymore.

"With this boy, I felt so conflicted about his behaviour. I knew his parents had never read a single book to their child, and the word c**t was regularly screamed at home. It was clear he had behavioural issues, but that he hadn't received the support he needed from his parents early in life," explains Karen.

"At the parent-teacher meeting I'd had with this boy's parents the year before, we'd once again brought up their son's behaviour and why it needed to be addressed at school and at home. It was clear they just didn't give a sh*t."

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Karen is in her late 50s and is from regional NSW. She's always worked in public schools or Catholic schools, typically teaching between years two and five.

But it's clear what she's experienced as a teacher is universal—regardless of what year is being taught, or what school they work at. It's a shared sentiment of being "completely broken" by the system.

Dealing with parents had become equally draining for Karen as well.

"One parent managed to get my phone number and would call me all the time to ask why I had given their child a B instead of an A. Another example was during parent-teacher interviews where this mother and father verbally abused me and said I was the reason why their son had autism, which is just an inappropriate thing to say on every single level possible."

Ultimately, it was all too much.

"After what felt like the millionth student trying to hit or kick me amidst a tantrum, I'd had enough. I had a breakdown."

Six months ago Karen told her school she had to go on indefinite stress leave. She didn't feel supported by the school she worked at for almost 12 years.

"The Monday the boy threw the chair at me. By Thursday I had emailed my superiors to let them know I couldn't take it anymore mentally. I'd been offered such little support in the lead-up to that incident. It's like I had been pushing my doubts to the side, but by doing that it all piled up on itself. Things that I could usually handle before were getting to me. Then I broke."

She has since quit her position and is still on paid leave until the end of the year due to extended leave she had owed to her. But that money will dry up soon. It leaves Karen in a very vulnerable position financially.

"I have three kids, but they're all adults now and they've moved out to various capital cities around Australia. I'm divorced. I have a mortgage of $300,000. I can't access my super for another five years. So that leaves me in a really tricky spot until then."

But Karen has no qualms about doing whatever she needs to make money. As long as it isn't as "soul-crushing" as teaching, she'll be happy.

"I will literally do any work. I'd serve burgers at McDonalds, be the greeter at the door at Bunnings, stack the shelves at Woolies, pack bags at the check-out at Coles. But I will never go back to teaching. Never."

Right now, Karen doesn't know her next move. She's experiencing severe anxiety about having to create a resume for the first time in over a decade.

She's worried about being able to find a job outside of her teaching experience.

Her age is also a concern, Karen hoping she won't face ageism in the quest for a job, though it's likely she will.

Simply put — it's a lot for an exhausted and mentally depleted former teacher to deal with.

"The scariest part is that I don't know what to do with myself now. Being a teacher has been my identity for so long. And without it, I don't know who I am," says Karen.

"But I'm confident I've made the right decision leaving teaching behind. I will never step foot into a classroom again. Over my dead body."

Feature Image: Getty.

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