Bec: "I want to learn to knit. Yes, knit."

By REBECCA SPARROW

It’s fair to say that over the past four years I haven’t at any point attempted to hide my lameness.  Nay, I have revelled in how uncool I am and have never shied away from outing myself as something of a loser.

There was the time I admitted to singing “Like a cheese stick, like a cheese stick” to a song that was actually called “Like a G6”.  The time I admitted to not watching Mad Men (or Game of Thrones or the one about the zombies).  The time I admitted to not owning a dryer. And just last week I admitted to gaining weight despite   * cough * publicly pledging to lose it.  Awkward.

I’m just laying the groundwork so that my most recent revelation is in context.

I have a secret desire to knit.

No, I’m serious.

I actually, seriously want to learn how to knit.

Does that make me Lamey McLamerson?  Would I sound cooler if I said I wanted to learn to grow my own kale so I could roll it and smoke it?

I just like the idea of knitting. I want to  be like Julia Roberts who apparently whips up jumpers and scarves and blankets while she’s sitting around on film seats

And then travel journalist Tiana Templeman posted this photo on Facebook over the weekend. Some Country Women’s Association ladies doing “live knitting” in the window of the CWA shop in Bangalow … and, well, what’s not to love?

And I had visions of me knitting my little heart out making blankets like this:

Or cute little monster pants like this:

That said, in reality I’m more likely going to be doing this:

You know, I love the idea of being able to have something to do while I watch TV OTHER THAN EAT.

I love the idea of making keepsakes for my kids.

And I love the idea of knitting blankets and beanies and teddies for the NICU in children’s hospitals (like this).

Or making warm blankets for Mission Australia, Assist A Sista, Ronald McDonald House or any other shelters or locations that are caring for people at their most vulnerable.

I love that I can do something while sitting on the couch watching Q&A or, um, The Bachelor.

So people, fill me in.  What do I need to know? Does anyone else out there knit?  And what’s the easiest way for me to learn?