"There's a little person out there waiting for you... Be patient."

The Prime Minister has announced changes to Australia’s intercountry adoption system to make it easier to to adopt children from overseas. This is brilliant news for childless couples desperate to adopt. Couples who want to be like the Dunks family…

Brisbane couple Richard and Bronwyn Dunks still recall with sadness the day they were told that their journey towards natural parenthood had come to an end. After more than five years of ‘trying’ for a baby of their own, including five unsuccessful IVF attempts, Bronwyn called Richard from the fertility clinic to tell him that it was all over.

Normally calm and in control of her feelings, Bronwyn could barely speak through the flood of tears that overwhelmed her. She was finally able to say, “Ritchie, I can’t do this anymore.” And neither, Richard discovered, could he.

Bronwyn had always talked of adopting a child, from early in their relationship. Richard wasn’t as enamoured with the idea and openly admits that having a child of his own lineage used to be very important to him. When faced with a future with no children at all, however, he was forced to rethink his ideals.

At their Family GP’s suggestion, the Dunks started attending the International Adoption Education program.

They were told by the program’s social workers, quite clearly, that adoption is not a pipeline feeder of children for unfulfilled couples. They said, “Adoption is not about you. It’s about doing the right thing for a child in need.” Bronwyn, ever eager to adopt, watched Richard make the mental and emotional switch in that moment. He understood what they had to do and why they were doing it — that it wasn’t all about them anymore. They had so much to offer a child in need, and made a committed ‘expression of interest’ to adopt in June, 2008.

This was the beginning of yet another long journey towards parenthood for Richard and Bronwyn; one that they may not have entered into if they’d known how much time and emotional energy it was going to take.

Firstly, the Dunks had to choose whether to adopt locally or internationally. In Australia, potential adoptive parents can only choose one country from which to adopt a child. Because of more favourable chances to find a suitable child, they chose to adopt internationally. At one of the education nights, they listened to a group of international adopters speak about their experiences.

When they heard to a father talking about his sons, adopted from South Korea, Richard and Bronwyn were very moved by the family’s story.

“We always said that it was important that things ‘felt right’ to us,” explained Bronwyn. “We often went with our gut feelings, and because of that particular family, we chose to adopt a child from South Korea.”

In the meantime, they had started the screening process with a caseworker who was assigned to them by the Department of Communities. Every little thing about them was profiled... from their religious beliefs to their education; from their personal relationships with each other to their relationships with members of their extended family. It was a very thorough process, and one that most natural parents never have to experience.

“We were very matter-of-fact,” Richard admits. “We were frank and open right from the start, which we believe made the process easier for us to go through.”

They were approved to adopt in October 2009, and were fortunate enough to get a call seven months later to say they’d been put on the list for a child that year because another couple had left the program.

The Dunks’ file was sent to South Korea in September 2010, over two years since their initial expression of interest. On Australia Day, 2011, a little boy, Jeong Ho, was ‘allocated’ to them.  He was six months old.

A long roll of red tape between South Korea and Australia kept Richard and Bronwyn from meeting their son for another 16 months. The knowledge that he was so close but still so far away was torturous for them. They buried their emotions in work, braved the regular questions from family and friends and did everything they could to stay in touch with little Jeong Ho. They sent him clothes, toys and photographs. Bronwyn even recorded a ‘talking book’, so her son could hear her voice. In return, they got updates and photographs from Jeong’s foster parents. When they saw a picture of their child with a stuffed puppy they’d sent him, they suddenly knew that every moment they waited for him was worthwhile.

At the end of May, 2012, four years after they started the adoption process, Richard and Bronwyn got the call to say, “You can come to Korea and pick up your son”. Jeong Ho was nearly two years old, and despite a growing excitement and sense of urgency, they were somewhat numb with disbelief as they booked their flights and packed their bags.

Bronwyn, in particular, didn’t want to have any expectations about how Jeong Ho would respond to them. She needn’t have worried, though. At their very first meeting in Korea, Bronwyn said, “It felt as if he had chosen us. Something in the universe had matched us up, and when he saw me, he hugged me like a little koala. All those years of waiting melted away, just like that.”

As she finishes talking, a three and a half-year-old races into the room. Hamish Jeong Ho Dunks called out, “Mummy! Daddy! Come and look at this!” As I watched Richard and Bronwyn get up and take their son’s hands in theirs, I found it impossible to stop my tears. My heart broke, just a little, with joy at the gifts this little family has received after nearly 10 years of waiting.

The words of their sister-in-law rang in my ears as I packed up to leave. “There’s a little person out there in the universe who is waiting for you, Ritchie and Bronwyn. Be patient. You will find each other.”

And they have.

Do you think it's a positive step that inter-country adoption is becoming easier to achieve?

Caylie Jeffery writes at Distractions of a Busy Mother.

Purchase your copy of her amazing book Bedtime Stories for Busy Mothers here.