"I tell my kid to share, but sharing actually sucks."

Here are some of things that adults share and it really, really sucks:

1. Garage in a unit block.

The share garage in the unit block is the worst. A neighbour of mine gives me advice on how to open my garage door. Yeah, teaches me how to OPEN AN AUTOMATIC DOOR?!? Oh right, I’m intentionally trying to open my garage door so that I hit your car. Actually maybe I should clip your car next time you drive to the shops.

Then there’s the dude who pulls his car halfway out of his garage so he can spend two hours washing the damn thing. While he does this I am trapped in my apartment. Sharing a garage totally sucks.

2. Shared garden space in the unit block.

The shared garden space can be pretty awful. One time there was a guy standing outside my apartment for like half an hour. It started to creep me and my wife out. It went like this:

Me: Umm, excuse me, sir. What are you doing?

Weirdo: I'm speaking to the azaleas.

Me: ...

We moved two months later because sharing a garden in a unit block sucks.

3. Train seats.

There's nothing worse than being stuck in the middle of a three seater bench on the train. You can feel the other person's body pressing against yours. It's horrible. What's even worse is when people are sitting in a selfish way on the two seater bench. Why do you have sit with your legs pointing in a diagonal direction? (I do this all the time).

People 'working' on their laptops in a two-seater really drives me absolutely bonkers. By 'working' I mean watching an episode of Game Of Thrones on your 15 inch laptop. Just watch it on your phone!!! By the way, it's a way more discreet way to watch it.

4. Conveyor belt at the supermarket.

I hate it when people forget to put the divider on the conveyor belt. I don't want my groceries being associated with your 17 blocks of chocolate.

Do you really need to pile up your boxes of crackers like a Lego tower that's built by a three year old? Come on, just spread the stuff out! The conveyor belt goes on forever, there will always be more room.

5. Living in a share house.

Let's be real. Living with other people sucks. Whether you share a house, are married or living with your family.. .it will suck at some point because people will piss you off (whether they intend to or not). The battle of leaving the toilet seat up will go on for eternity. You will have, "Did you take out the garbage?" conversation about 70,000 times.

Secretly, I think everyone dreams of living alone, but people fall in love, get bored talking to themselves and end up living with other people. Oh, and there's the whole raising kids/keeping the human race going thing.

6. Communal bench at a hipster cafe.

So, I go to the local hipster café because I love the pretentious industrial design….NOT. The coffee is great, even though every trip to the café drives me insane. Yesterday, there was this idiot hipster tapping his foot in time with the annoying dance music and he was making the communal bench vibrate. If you're sitting on a communal bench, then you should just nod your head in time with beat.

You're not playing in an annoying band that gets airplay on Triple J. You're just drinking overpriced coffee. Firstly, the whole communal bench thing is annoying. I don't want to sit next to someone I don't know when we're drinking coffee. Secondly, the coffee experience is all about 'me time'.

My coffee.

My paper.

My table.

Don’t ruin my coffee time with your love of annoying music.

7. Work refrigerator.

This is the definition of shared hell. Someone always has some sweaty chicken that is not wrapped in Glad-wrap correctly (or at all), and my fruit salad is having a chicken juice shower.

The work refrigerator also brings out the worst in human behaviour. A guy I used to work with, who we'll call Dave, had a very questionable way of getting his lunch.

Me: I forgot my lunch again! Kill me now!

Dave: Don't worry, Jeff. Just take some of these cheese slices from the fridge.

Me: Thanks, Dave. Do you want me to give you some money?

Dave: Sure, but it's not my cheese.

Me: What???

Dave: (Grabbing another slice of cheese). Who cares?

Me: Errr... Okay... (I grab another two slices of cheese and quickly shove them in my mouth as Denise enters the lunch room).

Denise: (Opens fridge door). WHO THE HELL KEEPS EATING MY CHEESE?!??!?

If you steal food from the work fridge you're a terrible human. There's Voldemort and then there's you.

What do you hate sharing the most?