'I lived with crippling pain for almost 30 years, until a surgeon told me the truth.'

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"You should have had that out a long time ago."

These were the words Laura Shennan's surgeon told her after she woke up after an elective partial hysterectomy, a procedure she had wanted for over a decade. It was the validation she needed after years of debilitating pain that impacted nearly every aspect of her life.

"I first got my period when I was 11 and from day dot it was an extremely horrible experience for me, every single month."

Laura is one of the nearly one million women in Australia who suffer from endometriosis, a condition that is still widely misunderstood and has an average seven-year delay between symptoms and diagnosis.

"For as long as I can remember, I have always had to take one or two days off school or work when I had my period," Laura said.

"I've taken so much sick leave that you can track my periods on my leave history. And, if I actually got sick, I would have to take unpaid leave as there would be no sick leave left."

Like many sufferers of endometriosis, Laura experienced an array of crippling symptoms, including migraines that would arrive so violently she'd have to ghost her colleagues for two days. "The pain would come on so quickly I didn't even have time to set an out-of-office. My colleagues would all be asking where I was."

Watch: Here's what to expect if you're considering a hysterectomy, from an expert. Post continues below.

Then, there was the loss of blood that resulted in anaemia. "My periods were so heavy that if I was using a menstrual cup there were days I was emptying it three times a day." While most women lose roughly 80ml of blood over their cycle, Laura was losing this amount daily. 

Not only was her period heavy, but it would last up to 10 days in some months and would come back two and a half weeks later. "It felt like half of my life was dictated by my period," she said. "It impacted everything and some days I wouldn't even be able to leave the house. I could never be spontaneous. There was always an underlying anxiety about when the pain would strike next."

Like many women, Laura learnt to live with the pain and inconvenience that came along with her period. "I never realised any of this wasn't normal until I was talking to some friends about just how much blood I was losing and how many sick days I was taking. I always thought that periods were supposed to be painful," she admitted.

When Laura finally started the process of trying to find out why her periods were so painful and heavy, she was led through an exhausting maze. She was told she had PCOS, then told she didn't. Scans were inconclusive.

For years, her pain was managed, but never solved, with a carousel of painkillers, hormone treatments and IUDs that brought their own brutal side effects, including a contraceptive pill that saw her bleed for six weeks.

Then there was the Mirena, which brought with it a terrifying loss of emotional control. "I honestly felt like I was going insane, like I needed to check myself into an asylum. I knew this wasn't a long-term solution," Laura said.

Laura lived with pain for twenty years before her partial hysterectomy. Image: Supplied.

It wasn't until she had lived with painful periods for twenty years that Laura discovered a permanent solution that extended beyond the band-aid options she'd been offered to date. The answer? A partial hysterectomy. The problem? Everyone around her, from well-meaning friends to a parade of doctors, told her she would regret it.

"I've always known I didn't want kids. But still, so many people didn't believe me," Laura said.

Across Australia and many other developed nations, women are having fewer children. The birthrate is falling, as more people make the conscious choice to remain child-free.

The reasons are complex and deeply personal, from the astronomical cost of living, the crushing weight of the mental load, and the career sacrifices that still disproportionately fall on women, to a re-evaluation of what a fulfilling life can look like.

Yet, when a woman says, "I don't want children," she is so often met with scepticism, not support, as Laura experienced. She was told she'd change her mind, and it was implied her womanhood was somehow incomplete.

"I can vividly remember not wanting kids from as young as 12," she said. "Everyone used to just say, 'you'll change your mind.' Or, 'I'll believe you when you're 40'."

"The thing is, I actually love kids. I just don't want any of my own. I'm the first person to volunteer to babysit. I have five Godchildren, and I'm known as "Aunty Laura" to more than 10 kids. People don't understand you can be maternal without wanting kids of your own."

This conflict between her clear-eyed life choice and society's stubborn refusal to accept it spilt into her romantic life and medical care. Relationships faltered when partners realised she was serious and doctors, even female ones, were often dismissive.

Laura was nearly 40, when she finally found a surgeon who listened to her story and was open to discussing the possibility of a hysterectomy. By then, she had lost almost three decades to pain.

"Why isn't every woman who doesn't want kids getting this done? Because they won't even talk to you until you're in your 40s," she said.

The turning point came when Laura accompanied a friend to a gynaecologist's appointment for emotional support. Laura started asking her own questions and, for the first time, a surgeon was open, even funny, and didn't flinch when she mentioned a hysterectomy.

"When I finally booked my own appointment, I walked in and said, 'I would like to get a hysterectomy.' He laughed, but quickly realised I was serious."

This surgeon was different. He didn't ask if she wanted kids. He asked if she'd ever been pregnant. He treated her like an informed adult, discussing the pros and cons of various pain management options versus surgery. "He was very much about the right solution for the right patient."

When she finally underwent the surgery, they discovered the true extent of the damage. "There were so many lesions in my uterine area. My fallopian tubes were inflamed to twice their normal size, and my appendix had adhered to one of them and needed to be removed. My surgeon said it was one of the worst he'd ever seen. He told me, 'you should have had that out a long time ago', I finally felt validated."

Laura's fiance has been supportive. Image: Supplied.

The recovery took nearly seven weeks before she felt like herself again, but the outcome was life-altering. "I haven't had a sick day since," Laura said. "It's like it's never even happened now."

Her relationship with her fiancé, who shares her desire to be child-free, has deepened. "He just says, 'I'm so happy to see that you're not in pain all the time'."

For Laura, the greatest regret is the time lost. "I would have done it at 25 if I could," she says. "I would have saved myself years of pain. I would have had half my life back."

Her message to other women suffering in silence is simple: "If it's what you want, get it done. Don't wait. Find a surgeon who will listen to you, who will work with you. It is the best thing I've ever done for myself."

Feature Image: Supplied.