How to understand your baby: Experts vs real mums.

As your children get older you start to forget the challenges of younger kids.

I was reminded of this fact when I babysat my friend’s one-year-old this week.

He is cute. Super cute. My ovaries are starting to ache kind of cute.

But as soon as my friend left I realised I had one big problem. I had NO idea what he wanted. My youngest is almost 5. I had forgotten babies and toddlers can’t tell you what’s wrong.

They don’t yell and scream and go, “I’MMMM THIRRRRSSSSTYYYY MUM.”

I was walking around the shops with a super fidgety whiney toddler.

“What the hell does he want?” I was asking myself. Is he tired? Is he hungry? Is he sick?

I must have looked like an idiot in the supermarket asking a one-year-old what was wrong.

Of course he wasn’t going to tell me. He’s ONE.

So I messaged my friend:

“I’m so sorry but I have no idea what’s wrong.”

Her response:

“Did he throw his dummy away?”

Me:

“Ummm *checks for dummy* yes actually he did, it’s at his feet.”

Just as an FYI, this post is sponsored by NAN Toddler Milks. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words. 

Her:

“He’s tired. Give him a bottle and he’ll go down. He always throws his dummy away when he is tired.”

What do you know – Bottle. BAM. Bed. Sound asleep. And I continued with my shopping.

What? How did she know that? Not once did he give a ‘tired’ cry or was he rubbing his eyes.

I questioned her later.

“It’s his cue,” she said.

Oh. My. God. I had completely forgotten about baby cues.

I spoke to my other mum-friends and we talked about baby cues and how they help you understand your child.

The thing is, not everyone agreed on what ‘the experts’ had to say about baby cues.

Here is a list of the top baby cues explained by the experts versus real mums.

1. Baby is trying to say, “I’m tired.”

Experts say: Rubbing eyes. Jerky movements. Arching his back. Not keeping concentration.

Mums say: Screaming that rivals thousands of teens at a 1D concert is pretty much your top clue here. Other cues are wanting milk and, like in my friend’s case, throwing toys or dummies away. It is a baby’s way of saying, “enough play time I want bed.”

2. Baby is trying to say, “I’m hungry.”

Experts say: They become lethargic, distant and whingey. The body needs more fuel.

Mums say: Seeing your child reaching for your wine glass at 6pm should probably be a dead giveaway. If not, other signs may be him motioning he wants milk with his hands or making a sucking motion with his lips. A different pitched scream – more like you are riding a rollercoaster – is also a key cue.

3. Baby is trying to say, “I want to play.”

Experts say: They smile. They look you in the eye.

Mums say: I’m not sure if this has been gained from centuries of parents utilising peek-a-boo, but the number one cue when a baby wants to play is the baby goes and hides or turns their head away. As a young baby, turning their head to begin a game of peek-a-boo is about the best move they can do with their little bodies. As they become toddlers they may hide behind the lounge or under the bench. It is them initiating play time.

4. Baby is trying to say, “I am happy, I love you.”

Experts say: They ‘coo’ and they ‘babble’ and they laugh.

Mums say: Okay, this one is pretty spot on. But one thing most mums found was that they copy you. They play a game of copycat and copy your happy smiley face (or sometimes your weird duck selfie face). They love being with you and they copy you. This is something we carry into adulthood as we imitate people we want to be like.

5. Baby is trying to say, “I’m sick.”

Experts say: Look for medical cues: high temperatures, lethargy, disrupted sleep patterns.

Mums say: Number one cue here is not-eating. Because as mums know babies love their milk and when they don’t want milk something is most definitely up. Babies and toddlers are also way more in tune with their bodies than we think. Sometimes they will pat or pull on the body part that hurts like their throat, ear or tummy.

6. Baby is trying to say, “I’ve done a poo.”

Experts say: The child will pause what they are doing. They will seem distracted and have a look of concentration on their face.

Mums say: The giant patch of brown up their back from the poo-splosion is pretty much the only cue you need here. Others may include a disgustingly strong stench and loud moaning and groaning as they push. This one is hard to miss.

Someone once said to me, “For the first two years all you want them to do is talk and walk then for the next 18 you are telling them to sit down and shut up.”

It’s true.

Sometimes understanding your toddler is hard but knowing there are other ways to communicate can be a blessing. Watch your toddler, understand their unique cues and talk to other mums about what you are experiencing.

If I had been told this earlier I would have spent less time rushing my kids and making them talk to me and instead I would have realised they were already communicating with me in their own way.

Babies grow up too fast, enjoy it while it lasts.

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