HOLLY WAINWRIGHT: 'How to really have a conversation with your kids about the social media ban.'

Thanks to our brand partner, Optus

Look. At least our kids won't be looking down at the phone when we try to have this conversation.

Jokes.

Some of us might need a little humour and positivity to steer our families through the big change to techs and teens coming our way. After all, the acclaimed American expert on kids and social media use Jonathan Haidt says that what our teenagers are about to experience is "far the most important single piece of legislation ever enacted on planet Earth to protect children in the internet age."

No big deal, then.

He's talking, of course, about the social media age restrictions, in force from December 10, 2025. Widely referred to as the social media "ban", it's not actually a ban at all, but a delay. Under the new rules, tech companies who own social media platforms must not allow children under the age of 16 on their apps.

It is ground-breaking legislation, widely viewed as being an experiment the whole world is watching, and you don't need to hold any opinion about it all to understand that for very many Australian kids (mine included), this is going to be a profound change.

So, back to the conversations about it. Maybe those are raging in your house. Maybe they're not, because it feels confusing and overwhelming to the adults under your roof, not just the kids.

If you want to feel more confident in talking to your kids about the legislation, here are some tips I've picked up in endlessly reading and talking about and researching the change in the last few weeks.

1. Stay cool. Some of our kids are going to be upset about this big change to their lives. Not all, obviously, but if TikTok or Snapchat has been a big part of their entertainment diet and how they communicate with their friends, they're going to have big feelings. Experts say, don't dismiss that. Let them know you understand it but that…

2. Everyone's in the same boat. One of the important things for our kids to understand is that the point of the delay being law is that it includes all children under the age of 16, not just some. So yes, apps might be how they talk to their friends, but none of their friends will be on those favourite platforms either because they're also banned. Which might mean that your kids need to…

3. Find a new way to communicate with their mates. Lots of savvy communication companies — like Optus, who's partnering on this content — have loads of information available on safe methods of communication on their Digital Thumbprint hub. In there, you'll find workshops on spotting trusted sources of information, and how teens can protect themselves from scams and identity theft online. Digital Thumbprint is endorsed as a Trusted eSafety Provider Program by the eSafety Commissioner which is the body that makes the rules about…

4. What is and isn't included in the ban. It's important for us to understand, so we can communicate it really clearly to the kids that these platforms are the starting point for the delay: Facebook, Instagram, Kick, Reddit, Twitch, TikTok, Snapchat, Threads, X and YouTube. But the eSafety commissioner is clear that this is a dynamic list, and other platforms that will inevitably spring up may also end up on it, too. This doesn't mean that these platforms are invisible to kids though, only that…

5. Our kids will still be able to view content on some social media platforms (like YouTube, for example), they just will not be able to do it through their own account. If the family watches content on YouTube, that will all still be there. They just will not be able to have their own account with their own algorithmic feed. Maybe an instructional video the kids could watch on the family account could be about…

6. Learning their friends' and families' phone numbers. I'm not joking. A lot of kids have got very used to communicating with their friends through social media platforms only. We need to reassure them that they are not being banned from phones. Kids can use messaging platforms like WhatsApp and Messenger to stay in contact with each other and us. They just need to make sure they acutally know how to do that. Optus' Digital Thumbprint can help with that, too. It's crucial that they understand that the legislation is not some sort of punishment, and that…

7. Neither kids nor parents are going to "get in trouble" if under 16s are still on social media. It's counterintuitive, but nothing here is meant to make our kids more anxious and worried. The pressure is on the tech companies to keep Under 16s off their platforms, and if kids still find their way on there, it's the tech companies who will be 'punished' — most likely in the form of fines — not the kids. And if your kid assures you they know how to get around the restrictions…

8. It's unlikely that the delay will be fool-proof from the start. It's a well-used analogy now but if our teens (and mine have certainly said this to me) insist the delay is "pointless" because kids will get around it, I tell them that there are plenty of laws that some people find their way around — like alcohol's under-18 restriction — but that doesn't mean we should all throw our hands-up in defeat and start giving 8-year-olds a wine. One day, it will probably be just as obvious that social media is meant to be for grown-ups. But friends, let's not get too confident with our predictions, because…

9. The details of how the delay will work will just keep evolving. I've explained to the kids that the Government has taken this world-first step, but because the individual tech companies have to find the ways to age-gate and implement, it's going to look different ways for different apps, and the rules will tighten and change as they settle in.

Thank you for coming to my talk about talking. Hopefully, we'll all be doing a lot more of it now we're not competing with so much other chatter.

Find free Optus Digital Thumbprint resources online, or drop into an Optus store and collect your free Digital Thumbprint Family Kit, available nationally.

Find more information on the social media restrictions.

Feature image: Supplied.

Optus is helping families navigate a changing online world with the Optus Digital Thumbprint program supporting young people and families to achieve, thrive and belong in today's digital world. The program supports digital safety and wellbeing through free, curriculum-aligned in-school workshops and a range of resources for use at home.