'It's just a little treat.' How to curb your emotional spending habits.

"It's just a little treat."

It's something I'm sure we're all guilty of saying at one point while online shopping or at the supermarket, or even after a taxing day at work. Maybe you just feel you deserve to buy yourself something nice after finally ticking that thing off your to-do list you thought would take hours but actually only took five minutes.

I know I find myself feeling like I should channel my inner Tom and Donna from Parks and Recreation and treat myself to boost my mood a bit too often. Down in the dumps? Treat yourself. Heartbroken? Treat yourself. Proud? Treat yourself.

Let's just say it's definitely not a cheap habit. But why does emotional spending have such a hold on us, and how do you kick it to the kerb?

Watch the five money lessons your parents taught you that you should probably forget. Post continues below.

The "little treat" is about so much more than the item itself, behavioural money coach and former financial adviser Lea Clothier told Mamamia.

"It's about the emotions we're trying to soothe or celebrate. After a tough day, we might feel drained, undervalued, or simply overwhelmed, and buying something small can feel like we are reclaiming a bit of control or joy. It's like telling ourselves, 'Hey, you've been through a lot — you deserve this'," she said.

"But this momentary reward often masks a deeper need, like acknowledgement, connection, or comfort, which a purchase can't truly fulfil. It's a fascinating dynamic because it ties our emotions to our spending habits, often without us even realising it."

You see, our relationship with money is deeply emotional.

It's often shaped by patterns we learned in childhood or through societal messages, Lea explained.

"Emotional spending is not about being 'bad' with money — it's a reflection of our inner world," she said.

"By approaching our habits with curiosity and compassion, we can start to shift from unconscious behaviours to intentional choices. When we align our spending with our values and emotions, we create a more empowered relationship with money — one that supports both our goals and our wellbeing."

How to break the emotional spending addiction.

Have you ever bought something in the heat of the moment only to regret it later when you realise you were trying to fill a void or were looking for a band-aid fix?

That's buyer's remorse. Clothier defines it as an emotional hangover.

"It often happens when we buy in the heat of the moment, driven by emotion rather than intention," she told Mamamia.

"Once the initial excitement fades, reality sets in — maybe the item wasn't worth the cost, didn't solve the problem, or simply added to our financial stress.

"At its core, buyer's remorse is a signal from our subconscious that the purchase didn't truly serve us. It's an invitation to reflect on what we really want or need and how we can align our spending with those deeper values."

It's all well and good to talk about better aligning our spending habits, but how do we actually address our emotional and impulsive spending?

It comes down to addressing the triggers, which are usually unmet emotional needs, stress, or even boredom.

"It can happen when we're chasing a quick dopamine hit — the brain's little reward for doing something exciting or new. Marketing taps into this beautifully, creating a sense of urgency: 'Limited offer!' or 'You'll never find this deal again!'," Clothier said.

"FOMO (fear of missing out) and the illusion of scarcity can also play a huge role. But it's not just external triggers; internal ones like loneliness, frustration, boredom, or other expectations can push us to spend impulsively."

Take a second and sit with your feelings before the next purchase.

"Ask yourself: 'What am I really feeling right now?' Pause before you reach for your wallet or click 'add to cart' and check in with your emotions. Is it stress? Am I feeling lonely? Am I craving to feel special or in control? Once you've identified the feeling, look for alternative ways to address it," Clothier said.

"Maybe it's a walk in nature, a deep breath, or a quick call to a friend for support. Building new habits like journaling, practising mindfulness, or setting financial goals can also help reframe how you approach spending.

"The goal isn't to eliminate treats but to ensure they come from a place of joy, not avoidance."

Tips for managing emotional spending in 2025:

1. Set an Intention: Get clear on your values. What matters most to you — quality time with loved ones, giving meaningful gifts, or staying financially mindful? Use these as a guide for your spending decisions.

2. Create a Spending Plan: Decide in advance how much you're willing to spend, create a list of who you want to buy for, and stick to the amount you wish to allocate. Having a plan makes it easier to say no to impulse buys.

3. Pause and Reflect: If you feel the urge to buy, take 24 hours to think it over. Most impulses fade with a little time, and this practice can often save you from regret later.

4. Find Non-Monetary Joy: Seek connection, not consumption. Bake cookies with your kids, write heartfelt cards, or create a tradition that doesn't necessarily revolve around spending.

5. Treat Yourself Mindfully: If you want to indulge, do it consciously. Make it a small, planned treat that feels special, not an emotional bandaid.

Feature image: Paramount.