The 7 big signs you’re sleeping with a narcissist.

Men are charming. Actually, more than we give them credit for.

Sometimes, it’s easy to even start a relationship without opening our eyes to their bad side, but instead idealising them and considering ourselves lucky.

But the issues won’t go away just because we’re in love. They will grow bigger and come out when we least expect them. This means guaranteed arguments in the future, a big chance for a breakup, negative emotions when having to talk about this and deal with it, and much more.

What to do then? See who your partner is right now, before things have escalated and before your love becomes bigger than your sense of control.

For example, there’s a high possibility that you might be sleeping with a narcissist. These people rarely change, because the very first step to transformation is saying out loud that there’s something that must be changed. And their ego just doesn’t allow this to happen.

Having a narcissist in your life isn’t something you signed up for. It’s not going to be easy. You’ll always be the less important one in your relationship, you’ll constantly need to remind him of how great he is, and he’ll never really show his real feelings as this means being vulnerable, which equals weakness for such people.

You’ll probably never receive the affection you deserve, will always wonder whether he’ll change, whether he’ll notice you, and might lower your opinion of yourself as a result.

Almost every narcissist has the exact same traits, so if you’re aware of these, it’s easy to recognise him and put some limits before a relationship has begun.

A listener dilemma: in a society that promotes independence, what if all you want is to partner up? Post continues after audio.

Here are the signs you’re sleeping with a narcissist:

1. Empathy isn’t familiar to him.

Empathy is this beautiful human trait that helps us feel what another person is feeling, be compassionate, and even have the desire to alleviate his pain and help him in some way.

Most people have this to some extent. Narcissists, however, don’t possess it. And it might not sound like a big deal now, but just wait until your feelings for this man deepen and your heart starts expecting the same amount of love from him.

He’s just unable to recognise what you need and how you feel, and there’s rarely anything you can do about it. But, if you’re like most women, you’ll unconsciously start blaming him for that. Blame, however, is never a good thing in a relationship and the result is disastrous.

If you’re currently dating such a person, try to see if he’s lacking empathy to such an extent, that he has no idea what another human being wants and needs.

2. Envy is part of his life.

How?

There are two ways a narcissist can go about this. He can either be absolutely sure that at any moment someone in his or your life is jealous of him. Or he can be the one jealous of others who seem to be doing better than him and who receive more attention.

I’m sure that’s not the kind of person you want around, and such traits can be recognised effortlessly.

So watch our for envy and jealousy to find out if you’re sleeping with someone like that.

3. He’s arrogant sometimes.

Ever feel guilty about something although there’s nothing you did wrong? Ever feel less confident around him, or even like a failure?

Most probably, it’s not you, it’s him who makes you feel this way.

Narcissists are often rude, and - of course - can’t realise they are being like that or that they are hurting other people’s feelings.

4. He lives in another reality.

Some characteristics of his other world are greatness, power, and brilliance. He’s all about being the best, and usually, thinks he’s already better than others.

You definitely wouldn’t want to bring such a man in your life and make everyone else around you feel insignificant compared to him too.

5. He’ll never feel understood.

For a start, he’ll never ever try to understand you, which is awful enough. But in addition, he’ll never feel understood and will blame you, others, or even life itself.

The reason for that is how significant and special he considers himself. So in order to find understanding, he needs other people of the same status. But because he would never really believe anyone else is that unique, he’ll feel alone and say that life is unfair.

You don’t want to be around when he gets depressed about such a thing…

6. Criticism would break him.

Another sign that you’re sleeping with a narcissist is how he reacts to judgemental comments.

Okay, you’re not such a critic and are being tolerant and caring in your relationship. But sometimes, be it in daily life or during a conversation, you might mention something your partner isn’t doing right, or suggest he works on improving something about himself.

Well, that’s when things get ugly.

The truth about narcissists is that regardless of how powerful, self-assured and cool they might seem, they are actually insecure.

Their self-esteem is low, and it takes criticism to see that.

7. Their ego is fragile, and they try to protect it.

How? By always wanting to be right, defending themselves, their actions and way of thinking with ridiculous arguments, etc.

When you’re arguing with a narcissist, you’ll be the one who’ll give up first because it’s impossible to make them admit their mistake, or even be honest. So don’t bother at all.

These are the ways in which narcissistic people are different from the rest. Watch out for any of these behaviors or mental patterns, and you’ll be able to protect your heart from the wrong people.

This post originally appeared on Divorced Moms and has been republished here with full permission.