'I thought I was bad at small talk. Turns out, I was doing it wrong.'

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There aren't many things in this world that I fear more than small talk.

A friendly hairdresser striking up a conversation for the duration of our appointment? Nightmare fuel.

Don't get me wrong, she's absolutely lovely. She's asking all the right questions and providing incredible customer service. 10/10. No Notes.

The problem is me. I am simply too awkward and introverted to keep up the pleasantries.

Of course, I'm not alone with this aversion to small talk. It's something plenty of us struggle with, as proven on a recent episode of Mamamia's Out Loud podcast.

Listen: The secret to nailing small talk. Post continues below.

"The problem with small talk is sometimes you just do it to box tick," co-host Holly Wainwright said, before sharing an example:

So, how was your weekend?

Good! How was your weekend?

Good.

Awkward silence.

"And then you're like, The weather was lovely, wasn't it? Holly continued. "There's a script… I bet there were five different versions of that in the kitchen this morning."

Yep, that's small talk in a nutshell: a stilted and repetitive script. And no matter how many times I rehearse, I'm never nailing my lines.

But, as it turns out, maybe I don't need to.

Watch: Jessie, Holly and Em discuss 'otroverts' on Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues after video.

According to Out Loud co-host Amelia Lester, there is a new study that explains how we can all get a hell of a lot better at small talk. And it doesn't involve a script (hallelujah!).

"When we're all taught how to make conversation, one of the key rules is that you're meant to volley back and forth, where someone asks you a question, then you ask them a question back," Amelia said.

But, as per psychologists involved in the study, these sorts of conversations never get very far.

"These psychologists say that you've got to get below the surface because that's where human connection is," Amelia continued.

"They have introduced this concept called 'riffing'. It's almost like flirting by another name."

Image: Getty.

Rather than volleying basic questions back and forth, riffing is all about "making a little joke … or starting to do a little bit of imaginary play," around the topic at hand.

"Think about kids," said Amelia. "When little kids go to the park, they're not engaging in small talk. They're immediately like, 'We're playing shipwrecked pirates. You're the pirate. You're the ocean coming up to the ship'. They just assign roles immediately."

Co-host Jessie Stephens agreed, adding that kids understand the concept of 'Yes, And,' which is a famous improvisational technique that suggests we should always accept what someone has stated and expand on that line of thinking.

"[Kids understand] that in order to socialise, you've got to lean in," Jessie continued.

We adults, however, need some practice.

So, how does riffing work in practice? Amelia shares an example:

How was your weekend?

Good! But I watched way too many TikToks of people making dollhouse-sized food. If you want to learn how to make lasagne in a dollhouse, let me know.

That's hilarious. We can organise a tiny food potluck and put it all on this coaster.

And, scene.

Consider me conflicted. I'm all for 'riffing' with friends, but I can't imagine my co-workers care too much about my TikTok consumption habits.

Jessie, however, had a different method when it came to small talk.

"I read this advice from a woman named Alison Wood Brooks, and it's the acronym: TALK," she said on the podcast.

Here's what that means:

T is for Topics. The author argues that, before you go into a conversation, you should have a few subjects up your sleeve that you can rely on.

"Try to keep a running list of topics that would be good when talking with various significant people in your life," Brooks said, according to inc.

A is for Asking. Rather than waiting for a turn to talk, "deep listening" leads to good questioning.

"When you're genuinely focused on what the other person is saying, follow-up questions come naturally," said Brooks.

L is for Levity, meaning to bring a bit of lightheartedness or "maintaining a 'good humour,'" during the conversation.

"A lightness and a gentle wit, which keep things from being too heavy and serious," said the author.

Finally, K is for kindness — which, Brooks argues, is "probably the most important ingredient in a good conversation."

"It involves thinking about what the other person in a conversation needs and then giving it."

Look, I'll give them both a try. But whether it's the 'TALK' method or 'riffing', I can't see myself ever being able to conquer the art of small talk.

So, consider this an apology letter to all of my future hairdressers.

Feature Image: Supplied.