'My tween asked for more independence. I had him agree to these 6 golden rules.'

Thanks to our brand partner, SPACETALK

I was hustling my son out the door for a quick run to the grocery shop. I was standing, keys in hand, ready to leave and turned to him.

He was languishing on the couch watching grown men blow things up on MythBusters. My response was instinctive and deep in mum logic: "Because you just… can't."  He rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. It was then that I realised this was less about his comfortable position on the couch and more about his desire to be trusted.

I did a quick risk assessment. As a parent always thinking on a constant loop about my kid's safety, I'm trained for this. I reasoned that the likelihood of him getting off the couch and into the kitchen, turning on the oven to make himself chicken nuggets was low.

Likewise, there was zero chance he was going to light my scented candle or fire up the barbeque. I could therefore eliminate the risk of fire. I was going to be gone for about the same amount of time as one episode of his show — so with the promise of not opening the door to anyone, I left him and went on my way. On my return, the only evidence that he'd moved from the couch was the empty packet of chips on the floor.

There were other subtle signs that he wanted more independence. Usually, content to walk beside me when we were out together, he started walking a few feet in front of me or to the side and under no circumstances was I to attempt to hold his hand. At school pick-up, I am forbidden to come and get him. My instructions are now to wait in the car.

I knew I needed to give him space; that this was the bit about parenting when they say you need to let go. That giving independence builds trust. I was happy to oblige, happy to do grocery runs on my own, but there needed to be boundaries.

Together, we established a list of ground rules.

1. Be where you say you will be.

A year ago, my son was 'unaccounted' for about two and a half hours. Lack of communication, a dose of naivety and his tendency to be away with the pixies meant that he was not meant to be where he was meant to be. For a long and character-building 150 minutes we could not find him. Since that day, we have been clear on this — if you are going to be somewhere, then stay there or let us know otherwise.

This situation could well have been much less stressful had we'd used a platform like Spacetalk to keep connected to him. Australian-owned (yay for supporting local businesses), Spacetalk is an all-in-one platform that my parents group chat tell me is super easy to use, even if you aren't a tech native.

You and your kids can all have the Spacetalk app on your smartphone, or you can pair your app with your kid's watch (like the Spacetalk Adventurer 2 Smartwatch) if they're not in phone territory just yet.

Offering absolute peace of mind for parents like me who want their kids to have more independence, you can set safe Places and Routes which give kids the freedom they crave. The very thought of that instantly eases my mind. I feel like my son and I would both be getting exactly what we're needing there, giving me boosted confidence that this platform recommendation from other parents actually works well.

My friends (who also have tweens) have said that connection with their kids through Spacetalk has felt life-changing, and they've sung praises about the video and message chat for quick updates. The School Mode function is something I'd love to use too, meaning there's no internet browsing and social media access. The privacy-first controls and best-in-class security certification means that safety is assured. It's always safety first for me, so this is the relief I needed to know!

2. Always return messages.

Not leaving us on read is our second golden rule. Not messaging your parents back might have a cool, nonchalant vibe to it, but in our home, it's not just about keeping communication lines open but also a sign of manners and respect.

3. Respect the rules of others.

On another shopping centre trip (I swear I do more than just shop!) and in a bid to avoid being seen with me (there's that independence thing again) my son wanted to spend the time at the arcade centre. This was perfectly fine by me if he followed the general rules and expectations of the teenagers running the place: no food or drinks on the machines; no hogging a game (if others are waiting, one or two rounds max); no "shoulder coaching" either apparently, where you stand over someone and comment on their gameplay.

He's learning that as he becomes more independent, that means recognising the expectations and etiquette in different environments and making thoughtful choices about his behaviour. The 'respect the rules of others' mandate applies broadly, too — other people's homes, libraries, the local gelato shop.

4. Speak up when something doesn't feel right.

Teaching kids to trust their instincts is beyond important, and my view is that you can't teach independence without ensuring that they know when to speak up when their gut is telling them something.

I want our son to know that he can tell us anything, no matter what. Independence is also about making the right choices and taking responsibility; speaking up when a person or situation doesn't seem right or safe, or knowing how to remove yourself unharmed from that context. Listening to that feeling in your body is a lifelong skill.

5. It's not just where you are, but who you're with.

Look, this one has been around since I was a kid. My mum's rule didn't only include knowing where I was, but exactly who I was with. I'm quite sure she wanted the phone numbers of the parents, as well. The version for the current times is the Spacetalk app now, right? Us parents are just doing it in a digital way, keeping across trusted contacts and trusted spaces for our kids. So this 'rule' is an oldie but a goodie for a reason.

6. Remember trust is earned (and works both ways).

Trust is a core value in my family. I want my son to know that I trust him, but I also want him to know that it is something that is earned, and it goes both ways. I know that this will build his confidence, and I can only hope our relationship will have the foundation of open and honest communication. Trust is given and is an ongoing responsibility for everyone in our family.

Letting my son hang out at home, eating chips on the couch or hanging around the local entertainment centre is all part of the chaotic and messy bits of raising an independent kid. He knows I'm never far away and he relishes his independence. Just as I relish watching his confidence grow (and doing the grocery shopping solo).

Download the new Spacetalk app and shop Spacetalk's Black Friday deals to keep your family connected.

Spacetalk (ASX:SPA) is a software-led, hardware enabled Australian technology business. Spacetalk's simple, secure platform allows members to create Spaces, bringing everyone in their busy world together, whether that's family, sports teams or school parents. The Spacetalk platform centres around the new Spacetalk app, designed to seamlessly connect families via their smartphone or Spacetalk Watch device range which includes Australia's number one selling kids' Watch.