From monogamy to open marriage: My first planned threesome.

To me, sex is a lot like hugging.

Before you get offended, let me elaborate. Everything about hugging my husband is different than the kind of hug I would give to a friend or family member. In most of the fundamental ways, hugging might look the same no matter who puts their arms around you when the fact is, the feelings behind those hugs can be entirely different.

Hugs can be very intimate, yet they can also be very impersonal. Some people hug almost everyone they know. Some people are incredibly selective about who they hug. Some people hug long and hard, while others barely get close and give you half-hearted contact.

Change ‘hug’ to ‘f*ck’ in the above paragraph and maybe you’ll see why it all makes sense (wait, remove “family member” from the third sentence but, if you don’t want to, that’s none of my business). Even if you don’t agree with my perspective, chances are, you know someone who might. When people ask how we can so easily “give ourselves” to others, the answer usually includes my hug/f*ck comparison. Sex can be a wonderfully intimate act, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be all about physical gratification and the coveted bliss of orgasms.

Ever since the start of my sexual adventures, I fantasised about being with more than one person at a time.

Never did it occur to me to believe that the person I chose to commit my life to would somehow magically fill every single need and be my only source of fantasy or pleasure. My body is so easily stimulated, and there aren’t enough parts on one person to be in contact with all of my parts. The natural, stratospheric, soaring, continuous high that comes from every sensitive part of my body being stimulated at the same time is something worth orchestrating.

Madison explains how to ask someone to have a threesome with you. Post continues after audio.

The ease in which to orchestrate this does not always come. Planning a threesome or a group is tricky and takes time and effort. If I’m going to create my fantasy, the characters have to fit the roles I choose for them. They can’t just be any willing person. In other words, I’m not going to hug just anyone; I want a very particular type of hug.

The first time I planned a threesome for myself, and by myself, I decided to involve two men I already enjoyed f*cking individually. Each of them made it clear that they never saw me enough, and one morning I decided to see if they’d be willing to visit me at the same time. Both of them sent messages at about the same time asking about my evening availability, and I decided to respond “I’m free tonight as long as you don’t mind that someone else will be here too.” In the back and forth with each one of them, I told them:

It would be you and one other man.
Yes, he’s straight.
No, you can’t wait until after he leaves.
I want to be spanked while getting fucked.
I want my nipples played with as much as possible.
I’d like a DP (double penetration) and everything else we normally do.
If you can recuperate somewhat quickly, you can fuck me again.
If you can’t, then we’re finished, and I’d like you to leave.

It was like listing items from a restaurant menu and asking if they were available before ordering a full meal.

When they both agreed (one had some momentary hesitation that vanished without a trace very quickly), I decided on the time and told them not to be late.

As I got ready for their arrival, I realised I was more excited than usual. This was the first time that I did this all myself. I didn’t wait for circumstances to make it convenient. I didn’t wait until someone suggested the idea. I decided that I wanted to have sex with two men and I invited two men. I made sure I was specific about what I wanted. In part, I was surprised that it felt like such an accomplishment.

This wasn’t my first time with more than one man, but it was the first time I woke up and decided that I was going to orchestrate what I wanted. I decided that not only was I going to make this happen, but I was also going to get into the details with these guys to make sure I would get what I wanted before deciding to have sex with anyone that night. Arranging everything on my own was empowering. Every woman should do this! (I mean plan the specifics of what she wants.) Why hadn’t I ever done this before?

What could go wrong?

Well…

(To be continued.)

This post originally appeared on Ravishly. You can read the original post here.

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