'I've perfected the art of packing for a weekend away with the 3-4-5 rule'.

Oh, hello there!

Welcome to this meeting of Useless Packers Anonymous, where we share our crushing inability to work out how many pairs of shoes a person might need to wear in a single weekend. I'll go first: it's certainly not six! 

For many years, packing for a short trip was my Everest. I could never quite nail it, forever forgetting critical items (for example, deodorant), but including things which would only be necessary if I took a holiday so transformative it completely changed my entire personality (for example, an outfit to wear clubbing). 

When I had kids, packing became even more fraught. Children simply have so many things, and they are all so small. And if I couldn't decide how many pants I, an adult woman who never wets my pants, would need for a weekend away, how on Earth was I meant to decide how many pairs of pants my son, a toddler who is only "toilet trained" in the very loose sense of those words, would need for a weekend away?

Watch: The packing spreasheet that's gone viral. Post continues below.

Well, they say necessity is the mother of invention, so I invented a bunch of packing rules.

The purpose of the rules was to turn the week leading up to a holiday into a calm and pleasant experience. After some trial and error, I am astonished — nay, dumbfounded! — to report that the rules have actually taken 99 per cent of the stress out of packing. (I've accepted that the 1 per cent that remains is just my personality). 

And now, because I am kind and generous of spirit, I am sharing those rules with you.

1. Use the 3-4-5 rule for kids. 

Each child gets three toys, four pairs of pants and five shirts. It's as simple as that. After many, many rounds of experimentation, I can confirm this is the ideal ratio, and following it takes the guesswork out of packing completely.

We have enough clothes to get us through the weekend, but not so many that we're travelling with enough clothes for 14 additional children.

My kids cottoned on quickly: they know that three toys are coming with us, and I won't be entertaining any argument. Sorry guys, I don't make the rules! (I literally made the rules.)

2. Colour-code your packing cubes.

Image: supplied.

I'm probably not the first person to tell you about the value of packing cubes, but allow me to take them to the next level. If you're travelling with more than one person — say, a family of four — and only one or two bags, colour-coding your packing cubes so you can easily eyeball whose is whose makes all the difference. 

And the real MVP? One giant, communal cube which starts off empty and is gradually filled with dirty laundry. When I get home, I take my Dirty Cube and empty it straight into the washing machine, and I feel like the most impressive lady on the planet. And honestly, I am! 

3. Have a travel toiletries kit that always stays packed.

Image: supplied.

You haven't lived until you have left the house for a holiday without packing your home toothpaste. There is no greater rush.

Want to brush your teeth right before you walk out the door? You got it, pal! That won't be a problem, because you've already got your travel toothpaste (and toothbrush, deodorant, shampoo and conditioner) ready to rumble. The system! It works!

Your travel supplies can live in anything from a canvas bag (if you are my husband) to a monogrammed vanity case (I treated myself to one from Etoile, and it gets me compliments everywhere I go). I don't care what yours looks like, as long as it stays packed.

4. Duplicate your beauty products. 

Beauty bag. Image: Supplied

Look, if you're not a frequent traveller, buying duplicates (even travel-sized duplicates) of everything you put on your face and in your hair is probably not a smart financial move.

However, if you (like me) have been known to move on to a new, shiny product before your old one is strictly finished, that old product is an excellent candidate for the travel makeup bag.

In fact, on my most recent trip, I rediscovered a foundation I like so much I might pull it back into everyday rotation. It is indeed true what they say about travel opening up your world! 

For hair products that aren't cute and travel-sized, decanting your existing products into travel containers is the answer. Much like many tasks worth doing, the prep work is annoying, but amazing to have done. Goodbye, weird hotel shampoos that for some reason make my hair feel like straw.

5. Pick your outfits in advance. 

I can't tell you how many times I have arrived at my destination only to realise I have packed a random assortment of skirts, tops, pants and jackets, and not a single outfit.

This might sound basic, but I think we've firmly established that I am very basic: choose what you'll be wearing on your trip before you start packing your bag, and only pack the clothes that are required for those outfits.

Truly a revelation.

6. Don't skimp on underwear.

Maybe I've spent too much time with aforementioned not-quite-toilet-trained toddler, but nobody ever regrets bringing a couple of spare pairs of underwear on a holiday.

There are other elements of packing where we might try to multitask or rationalise, but we aren't stingy with undergarments in this house. 

7. Remember that you are the same person on holiday as you are at home. 

You know how they say "wherever you go, there you are"? Well, wherever you go, there you still think that denim jacket makes your shoulders look weird.

If you wouldn't wear it at home, stop pretending you'll wear it on a holiday. You won't. No further questions. 

Feature image: Supplied.