When Mamamia launched the HER podcast series, we couldn't have anticipated the number of questions that came flooding into the team's inboxes.
Queries about scissoring, how to go down on a woman, how long lesbian sex lasts - the lot! But one that kept cropping up again and again focussed more on the bit before hopping into bed: The pickup.
How do I tell if another woman is into me?
How can I figure out if a girl is keen on me?
Do you just walk up to a woman you fancy and keep your fingers crossed she's gay too?
So, being the handy gals we are here at Mamamia, we posed these questions to Sophie Cachia and her sex columnist wing woman, Nadia Bokody, so they could unpack them and share all the signs you need to look out for.
Let's get into it.
How to know if a woman likes you.
Before any flirting begins, there's one thing you need to be clear on: you must avoid stereotyping.
That means not jumping to conclusions about who in a room is gay, straight or anything in between.
"We need to remove that absolute stereotype that has existed for so long. I go out very frequently to lesbian nights, bars and gay clubs, and there's every type of female there possible," Sophie explains, adding that others stereotyping her was a bit of a blocker in her early dating days.
"The number of people that have said to me, 'But you don't look gay.' And I'd have to be like, 'Ask my ex-girlfriends if I was gay in the bedroom. I'm sure they'll tell you the answer to that.'"
So nada assumptions, okay?
Now we've got that out of the way, let's figure out the signs you need to spot in order to figure out if that woman you're into likes you back.
Sophie says that the first absolute giveaway is almost always eye contact.
"If you hold an eye-contact stare with someone across a bar on a dance floor for like two, three, four seconds -she's interested in you."
Nadia agrees but admits that she's been confused out and about in the world. She's often approached by women and complimented by them. But something as simple as "your arse looks amazing in those jeans" can leave her asking if they are flirting with her or just want to know where her jeans are from.
But focus on the eyes, and whether they are staring into yours for a little longer than you'd expect, and you are likely onto a winner - and can start a suggestive conversation.
"You might just be chatting to a bunch of girls at a bar," Sophie explains. "And if there is someone in that group that you have your eye on, and if their gaze sort of doesn't move away from yours, and they're so into what you're talking about, and it's just this look. I wish I could explain the look better, but I know the queer community out there know exactly what I'm talking about.
"But yeah, take notice of the eye contact." Shall do, Sophie!
Once you've clocked the eyes, it's time to dropping some hints. And by hints, we mean hints. Now is not the time to go stomping up to someone at the club, shouting, "ARE YOU GAY TOO?!"
"Let's say you're straight and you go out and you want to hook up with a guy. You don't go up to him and go, 'Hi, are you interested in me?' Like, you're not going to do that. You're not gonna suddenly start flirting," Sophie says.
Instead, you're going to tread carefully and weave those sneaky hints into the conversation.
"I'd drop stories in featuring 'that girl I used to be with' and note their reaction to that," Sophie shares. If the facial reaction you spot is one of intrigue or a giant smile then you might be onto something.
Do you want to listen to Sophie Cachia talk more about this topic? Listen to this episode of HER with Sophie Cachia here.
Image: Sophie Cachia + Mamamia.
Show Me The Money
Everyone Has An Ex
