'Trends are exhausting. That's why at 44, I'm embracing my "messy era".'

It's hard to remember a time when so many aspects of our lives weren't supposed to be styled, curated or driven by 'an aesthetic' but as a 44-year-old woman who was adulting long before TikTok, I can confirm that it existed.

Working in digital media and trying to keep up with the news cycle can be exhausting all on its own, but in recent times simply keeping up with fashion, beauty and lifestyle trends has become just as exhausting.

Way back in the dark ages (the '80s and '90s), celebrities had their luxuriously beautiful houses and Oscar-worthy outfits and we normal people lusted after them from the sidelines, wistfully flicking through the glossy magazine spreads or watching them do the chat show rounds. Their designer clothes and looks might have influenced our hairstyles or what we wore to the pub on a Saturday night, and their homes might have made us hanker after some ornamental Hollywood chintz. 

But with micro trends literally coming and going every 30 seconds on TikTok – and covering EVERYTHING from skin to eyebrows, nails, clothes, homewares and interiors to cars – it all just makes me want to lie down.

Watch: Super Hot Mess Mum. Post continues below.

I might have asked for 'the Rachel' haircut and bought a nice peplum top for girls' night, but I wasn't worrying about whether my skin was dolphin-level glossy or if I needed to wallpaper my bathroom to integrate with the hallway.

I almost feel paralyzed from posting anything online these days because my 'aesthetic' is so random. I am lucky to have a nice home and heaps of cute clothes, but there is not any adherence to a 'style'. 

Which brings me to my next question, do I need one? 

And if, so can I just call it 'messy'? 

My wardrobe is frankly a rather chaotic mix of colour, and filled with items I like, or need and also keep because of the happy memories. 

There is no capsule collection of neutral classics. There is no neatly coordinated walk-in closet with flattering down-lighting. It's just a cupboard in our bedroom with clothes and shoes in it. And also some sectionals and plastic drawers from Kmart. Winning.

I have clothes. They are not coordinated. 

What can I say, I am definitely never going to make it as an influencer.

Sometimes I wish I could just stick to buying classics only or go all out Barbie-core or pick a damn aesthetic and stick to it, but the truth is, I like clothes of all varieties from all sorts of places (old and new), so streamlining this for the sake of curation is impossible. 

I've given up and I'm okay with leaning into my messy 'style'.

My make-up collection is a mish-mash of items and brands I have loved for 30 years and bits I have panic purchased after they were heavily promoted on Instagram and I was in a weak luteal phase. I probably need to do something about my brows that makes them look bushier or spikier(?) but then it's my fault for ruining them in the '90s by over-plucking.

My beauty routine is haphazard and yet my skin seems okay. 

I have the serums, the oils and eye creams, and sometimes I even remember to put them on my face. I cleanse (I'm not a monster) but I am fickle and disloyal and will lean towards brands that are on special, have pretty packaging or smell nice.

My skin could probably be more 'dolphin' or 'mermaid' or whatever the f**k is currently trending, but then I am 44 and I have to clean out my kids' filthy lunch boxes or cut fruit for soccer and I'm tired.  

Our house, well, it's homely. Read: messy.

I like buying nice prints or pieces of affordable art and I'll change up the throw cushions and blankies when the kids spill one yoghurt too many on the current ones. We have bookshelves filled with books, comfortable chairs and some of our towels even match but there's so much room for improvement.

Some of our towels even match each other, guys!

Don't get me wrong. We have some cosy corners, but watching those Architectural Digest or Vogue celebrity house tours makes me come out in a rash. The work and the thought and the MONEY that goes into redesigning and remodelling entire homes must be enormous.

And you must also have an aesthetic before you start so that rooms actually complement each other and are not separate entities.

You must choose ideas like 'minimalist mausoleum chic' per Kimmi K or just 'wallpaper everything in dusky peach patterns', like Zoë Foster Blake. Either way, your individual interior aesthetic ensures every single corner of your home is always ready for its close-up.

Fit-check mirror selfie in the bedroom? Ready! Child doing something cute in the nursery? Ready! Group photo of 85 of your closest friends over for a '60s-themed soiree in the orangery? Never readier.

I know these people have a s**t-ton of money and they have paid someone to style their homes but it's not just the celebrities who seem to have their houses styled to perfection. 

Listen to Mamamia Outloud discuss why they are entering the 'messy house era'. Post continues below.

There are loads of non-celebrity people I follow on the 'gram who have beautifully styled homes with just the right amount of indoor shrubbery, brass fixtures and Scandi-designed chairs. They also all have those big coffee table books about Louis Vuitton or Ruth Bader Ginsburg neatly stacked on low-level mid-century coffee tables with additional rose quartz accessories and Jo Malone candles.

I covet all of those things and the peachy patterned wallpaper, but I also have to come to terms with the fact I will never have enough cash to remodel my entire house AT ONCE. 

And even if I did it all tomorrow, would I then need to upgrade it in a few months when a micro-trend for Y2K red feature walls and rattan corner lamps come back around (again) on TikTok?

The reality is that for most of us trying to keep up with all the trends across all The Things – it just isn't possible. 

There is also the cost-of-living crisis and the fact that most people can't do up their whole homes every two years. Or even want to.

We did our bathroom nine years ago and our kitchen five years ago. We last painted some walls about six years ago and bought a new sofa last year. None of it really matches, but every space has its own charm.

The same goes for my wardrobe, makeup collection and skincare brands, explaining why nothing is cohesive or matchy-matchy. 

I might still lust after a tidy capsule wardrobe, sleek makeup or a themed and stylish home, but I am trying to look beyond the trends and embrace my midlife 'messy era'.

The mess of my colourful 'style', the mess of my beauty cabinet (well, a shelf) and the mess of my whole damn house.

It's messy, yes, but it's loved. It is lived-in and it is ours and there ain't no trend that will ever compete with that.

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.

Feature Image: Supplied / Canva.