There's a formula for charisma. With two things you can own any room.

If you want to support independent women's media, become a Mamamia subscriber. Get an all-access pass to everything we make, including exclusive podcasts, articles, videos and our exercise app, MOVE.

Charisma. It's one of those funny things where someone walks into a room and you instantly feel yourself being pulled towards them.

You know the type. You can't stop watching them. You need to listen to them. Maybe you even want to be them a little bit.

We've all met someone like this — that person who just seems to have it. The colleague who commands attention in meetings without raising their voice. The friend who makes everyone feel like the most interesting person in the room. The person at parties who somehow becomes the centre of every conversation.

But here's the thing: what if I told you that charisma isn't some mystical gift that only the chosen few are born with? What if it's actually something you can learn?

First, listen to Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.

By definition, charisma is a quality that makes someone attractive and inspiring to others — that compelling personal charm that can inspire devotion.

The word comes from the ancient Greek χάρισμα, meaning "a gift of grace".

But according to a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, charisma actually boils down to just two traits: influence and affability.

Clinical psychologist Rachel Harker says one of the biggest misconceptions about charisma is that it's this fixed, unchangeable thing you're either born with or you're not.

"In reality, it's a set of learnable behaviours, not a fixed trait," she told Mamamia.

"People often assume it's tied to extroversion, but research shows charisma is more about how others experience you, not how loud or outgoing you are."

So what do these two magic ingredients actually look like in real life?

"Influence can be confidence, clarity, and the ability to hold space, whether that's leading a meeting, pitching an idea, or calmly navigating conflict," Harker said.

"Whereas affability is the warmth and emotional intelligence that makes others feel comfortable and valued."

In social settings, this might be the friend who remembers that you hate coriander and always orders accordingly. Professionally, it's the colleague who balances being assertive with being approachable — someone who makes you feel heard, not just managed.

"When those two traits work together, it can be a powerful combination where real connection and impact can happen," Harker explained.

If you think about it, I'm sure you can recall a time when you were naturally drawn to the most charismatic person in the room. There's actually a psychological reason for this.

"As humans, we're wired to seek both safety and leadership," she said. "Influence signals strength and competence, while affability signals trust and emotional intelligence."

"Together, they make us feel like we're in good hands and that we matter."

It can be both a powerful and admired combination, she added.

But wait… can you have too much of a good thing?

Apparently, yes. Research suggests too much charisma can actually make you look less effective as a leader.

Harker explained it like this: "Excessive charisma can create a halo effect, where people focus more on style than substance. Over time, if the leader doesn't deliver, trust erodes."

"Psychologically, we start to see them as inauthentic or manipulative, especially if charm is used to mask a lack of follow-through or accountability."

There's good news for introverts (and everyone else). You don't need to be the loudest person in the room to be charismatic. In fact, you don't need to be loud at all.

"It's about being the most intentional," Harker said.

"Research shows that things like eye contact, active listening, and emotional attunement play a big role. Introverts often excel at these because they're naturally reflective and tuned in."

So hello, fellow introverts — this one's for us!

How to improve your charisma.

Ready for the practical bit? Harker's advice is surprisingly simple: "You can practice and become more skilled at these traits, with confidence building over time."

Her first tip: Start by being present.

"It might sound simple, but so much of charisma is about making others feel like they have your full attention," she said.

Mirror their emotions subtly. If someone's excited about something, match their energy. If they're sharing something serious, dial it down accordingly.

Use people's names. There's something magical about hearing your own name — it makes people feel seen and valued.

Practice confident body language. Even if you're feeling nervous inside, stand tall, make eye contact, and take up space. Fake it 'til you make it actually works here.

"Practice makes perfect, and repeated practice will increase your confidence and natural charisma," Harker said.

"Charisma can be learnt and developed over time, but it needs to be authentic."

So there you have it — charisma isn't some mysterious superpower reserved for the naturally gifted.

The next time you walk into a room, remember: you don't need to be the loudest or the most outgoing person there. You just need to be the most intentional. That sounds pretty achievable to me.

Feature image: Getty.