If your partner has these 7 texting habits, they might be a narcissist.

At first, the texts made her feel special.

"He used to send these insanely romantic messages first thing in the morning, like, full paragraphs. It felt intense in a good way," Emily* told Mamamia. "He told me he loved me in the first two weeks. Said we were soulmates."

By a year later, she found herself triple-checking her phone before replying, carefully editing every word to avoid setting him off.

"If I didn't reply in ten minutes, I'd get a string of passive-aggressive messages. 'Cool. I guess you're busy with someone else.' 'Must be nice to be so unavailable.'"

What Emily didn't know back then is that her partner's texting habits weren't just "passionate", they were early signs of narcissistic abuse.

Watch: Signs you're dating a narcissist. Post continues after video.

"Narcissism in intimate relationships refers to a consistent pattern where one partner places their own needs, image, and desires above those of the other, often at the expense of emotional safety and connection," explained therapist Darleen Barton from the Hart Centre.

"While narcissistic personality disorder is a formal diagnosis, many individuals exhibit narcissistic traits that stem from childhood experiences of neglect, control, or emotional deprivation."

While the signs of narcissism can be hard to spot in everyday conversation, they often show up clearly, and consistently, in text. Here are seven texting habits that could be red flags:

1. They love-bomb early, and often.

In the beginning, it may feel like a whirlwind romance. But according to Barton, this excessive praise is a tactic, not a compliment.

"Love-bombing involves frequent, intense messages early on, expressing exaggerated affection and commitment," said the therapist.

As Emily recalled: "He used to text me, 'You're everything I've ever wanted. Don't ever leave me. It felt flattering at first. Looking back, it was too much, too fast, and I felt guilty whenever I tried to slow things down."

2. They expect immediate responses, and punish delays.

Whether it's 2pm or 2am, they expect access.

"They expect instant responses or detailed explanations for any delays," said Barton.

"If I didn't respond in time, he'd act like I was cheating," Emily said. "One time I was in a work meeting and came back to 17 missed calls. He said I was 'disrespecting' him."

3. They flip between constant messaging and silent treatment.

One minute, they're blowing up your phone. The next, you're met with radio silence.

"This inconsistent responsiveness, switching between constant messaging and sudden silence, creates confusion or insecurity," said Barton.

"He'd message me non-stop one day and then not reply to anything the next," Emily explained. "It made me feel like I'd done something wrong, but I never knew what."

4. They use guilt as a weapon.

Emotional obligation becomes part of the script.

"Guilt-tripping is common," said Barton. "Messages that suggest emotional obligation, such as 'If you loved me, you would reply.'"

"I used to change my plans just to avoid disappointing him," Emily said. "Once he found out I went to dinner with a friend and hadn't told him in advance, he said I was 'emotionally cheating.'"

5. They avoid real conversations, unless it's over text.

While texting might feel easier, Barton said narcissistic partners often use it to avoid vulnerability.

"They may avoid face-to-face conflict resolution, and prefer to manage arguments or emotional matters via text to maintain control or avoid vulnerability," said the therapist.

"We never talked about problems face-to-face," Emily said. "He'd write long, angry texts but refuse to speak calmly in person. It was like he didn't want to be accountable."

6. Their messages become increasingly critical or controlling.

What starts out sweet may turn sarcastic, accusatory, or cold.

"As the relationship progresses and emotional closeness increases, texting may shift to criticism or coldness, particularly when the narcissistic partner feels disappointed or threatened," said Barton.

"He once texted me, 'You've changed. You used to make more effort. Are you even attracted to me anymore?' I remember reading that on the train and feeling physically sick," Emily said.

7. They weaponise silence, or words.

Texting becomes less about connection and more about control.

"Punitive silences or delayed responses are used to create uncertainty or assert control," said Barton.

"When I finally pushed back and said I needed space, he stopped replying altogether," Emily said. "He left me on read for four days."

So, what does all of this do to the person on the receiving end?

"The effects of such texting behaviours can be deeply unsettling," Barton said. "Many individuals report heightened anxiety or hypervigilance, constantly checking their phone to avoid triggering a negative reaction; self-doubt and confusion, particularly when gaslighting or contradictory messaging is present.

"Emotional exhaustion, due to the unpredictability and intensity of interactions. Isolation, if communication becomes the focus of the relationship or is used to undermine other support systems. Reduced self-esteem, as the person begins to feel unworthy, difficult, or too sensitive. These patterns erode emotional safety and can leave the recipient feeling depleted, silenced, or unrecognised."

For Emily, it wasn't just about the texts. It was how they made her feel.

"I was constantly on edge. I'd re-read messages before sending them, trying to guess how he might twist them. I didn't realise how much of myself I was losing."

Eventually, she began working with a therapist and slowly started setting boundaries.

"At first, I was terrified he'd leave. But then I realised that I didn't want someone who made me feel like that to stay."

Barton says setting healthy boundaries is crucial, but not always easy.

"Clarify your needs and limits," she suggested. "Be clear with yourself about what feels respectful and sustainable in communication.

"Communicate boundaries calmly and directly: For example, 'I do not respond to texts when I am working, and that does not mean I am ignoring you'.

"Avoid overjustifying: Keep explanations brief and confident, as over -explaining may invite challenge or manipulation.

"Stay consistent: Do not allow guilt, pressure, or mood swings to alter your boundaries.

"Disengage from escalation: If the conversation becomes emotionally charged or manipulative, step away and revisit it when calmer.

"Seek therapeutic support: A therapist can help explore the relational dynamics and support the development of assertiveness and emotional clarity.

"Boundaries are not about creating distance but about fostering self-respect, emotional safety, and healthier communication."

*Name has been changed for privacy reasons.