'I took a holiday without my children, here's how it went.'

When you're a mum, taking a holiday takes on an entirely new meaning from the days of old, when holidays meant sun and sand, or exotic adventures.

Holidays with young kids means a thousand bags, portable cots and early nights. With teens, it's endless arguments about what to do, what movie to watch in the evening, and figuring out how to keep them fed.

Of course, family holidays are plenty of fun, and honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way — or so I thought.

When I was offered a week-long trip to Bali that included a three-night stay at a dedicated health retreat, it sounded like a dream come true. The key word being 'dream'.

Watch: Modern Etiquette while travelling.

Despite being utterly burnt out and extremely curious about the benefits of a health retreat, my instinct was to say 'no'.

I'm a mum, I can't go on solo holidays! Those are for single people!

But when I mentioned it in passing to my own mum, she wouldn't take no for an answer.

"You're going," she said.

Since I always do what my mum says, off I went, for two nights at Como Uma Canguu and three nights (which turned into four, thanks to an unexpected volcano eruption) at the Como Shambhala Estate — a dedicated health retreat.

For me, this trip was more than just a holiday. It was an awakening. Here's what I learnt about myself from taking six days entirely to myself.

It's pretty easy to relax in a room like this. Image: Supplied.

I'm capable of more than I thought I was.

When I first read the itinerary, I panicked. While dinner by the ocean and a massage sounded divine, a surfing lesson sounded positively terrifying.

I am not an adventure-seeker. I don't try new things. And I definitely don't surf (let alone take lessons with 20-year-old instructors).

In all honesty, I almost chickened out. But there's nothing like good, old-fashioned peer pressure to get you out of your comfort zone.

But then, something unexpected happened. I sat on the board the right way. Then, I stood up while the instructor held it. And then, I stood up while the board was moving through the water.

For some women, this might be unremarkable. For me? It was monumental, and one of the best experiences I've ever had. My instructor, Monty, even suggested I continue learning at home.

Surfing lessons are conducted at the resort lagoon, and teach the 30 critical competencies for success and confidence, including board handling, stance, ocean safety and balance-board simulations.

The one-hour lessons include access to a Tropicsurf instructor, surfboard, rash guard, booties, sunblock and zinc to protect you from the Bali heat.

I'm a surfer now. Image: Supplied.

I learnt to relax.

COMO Shambhala Estate is made up of private residences, villas and suites set in the forest and jungle clearings.

My room was located at the Wanakasa Residence, which translates to 'Forest in the Mist'. It was literally a luxury treehouse that connected to other suites around an enormous banyan tree.

There was a schedule of activities designed to treat your body and mind, yes. But when those activities weren't taking place, there was literally nothing to do but relax.

At first, it was tricky. Relaxing without looking at my watch, opening my laptop, scrolling on my phone, or looking around for undone chores didn't come naturally to me.

Until it did.

Granted, relaxing on a giant four-post bed surrounded by rain forest is easier than relaxing at home. It's also easier when you're swimming in an infinity pool surrounded by said rain forest.

The infinity pool at Como Shambhala Estate. was the perfect place to relax. Image: Supplied.

Taking care of your body and mind DOES make a difference.

The first thing I did when I arrived at Como Shambhala Estate was attend a consultation with an Ayurvedic doctor, who performed a body scan and an assessment of my lifestyle and stress levels.

Walking out of the consultation, I immediately felt as though I was doing something for my personal well-being — something I hadn't done in a long while.

Over the next three days, I took part in guided yoga sessions, Pilates, and hydrotherapy. I also enjoyed food that just about sent my body into delighted shock — fresh juices, medicinal shots, raw salmon salads, and a range of incredible fine-dining dishes.

The retreat also included a selection of daily treatments — think a variety of massage styles, facials, lymphatic drainage, acupuncture, and more.

As someone who deals with constant aches and pains, I opted for full body massages, and I kid you not, my neck pain literally disappeared by the time I left.

I felt cleaner, more energetic. I fell asleep earlier, and rose earlier, too. Most importantly though, my mind became clearer, happier and freer.

I was treated with the most delicious and nutritious food. Image: Supplied.

I have a spiritual side.

A few days of yoga, guided meditations and breathwork classes had me feeling all kinds of spiritual.

But taking part in a traditional Balinese blessing was an experience I will never forget.

Our group walked through the rain forest until we reached a sacred water fountain, where we donned special sarongs and bathed under the water.

After drying and returning to the blessing area, the priest guided us through a series of meditation and prayer practices.

The impact of the experience was so unexpected, I literally shed a tear as I took the opportunity to make three separate prayers and embrace a tradition from another culture.

The Balinese Blessing Ceremony was one of the most special experiences of my life. Image: Supplied.

I am a person outside of wifedom and motherhood.

The thought of holidaying alone had never appealed to me before. But being forced to both spend time on my own and with people I didn't know revealed a side to my own personality I'd long since forgotten.

It was the side of me that has fun with strangers. The side that tries new things and embarks on adventures. The side that laughs and walks and swims and paints and drinks cocktails with others, and by herself.

This version of myself takes care of her body and her mind, and allows herself to do things that benefit no one other than herself.

I remembered I am a person, and at Como Shambhala Resort, the entire purpose of being there is to self-focus and self-care. It feels wrong not to indulge in yourself.

So much relaxing! Image: Supplied.

Time out should be mandatory.

After six nights to myself — the longest I've ever been away alone, let alone without my children — I felt like an entirely new person.

I'd always been curious, but also dubious, about health retreats, but I came away from this experience believing that all women should embark on some sort of solo time annually, if not more frequently. In fact, it should be mandatory!

As women, we spend so much of our time dedicated to others — their needs, their wants, their likes, their dislikes — that our own desires often fall by the wayside. We do this so much that when the time comes to enjoy a day or two to ourselves, we often don't know what it is that makes us happy.

Spending a week alone enabled me to rediscover who I am, what I love, and to renew my zest for life.

That's not only good for me, but good for my children, too. I came home ready to implement the new habits I learnt throughout this experience, but also as a happier, lighter, person. And a happier mum is a better mum.

A solo holiday is a practical example of fitting your own oxygen mask first, and while I may not be able to indulge in something as luxurious as Como's incredible resorts on a regular basis, I do plan to take some time to myself as often as I can.

Feature image: supplied.