'5 years after my husband's death, I booked a male escort. I feel completely awakened.'

*Diva never saw herself booking a male escort in her lifetime. But after a "life-changing" overnight service just a few months ago, she says it's one of the best decisions she ever made.

For over 30 years, Diva and her husband Michael were together. It had been a good relationship, she tells Mamamia, one where Michael would often tell his wife he "felt like he had won the lottery".

Then on Father's Day 2019, Diva, then 58, found her husband had passed away on their driveway from a heart attack. It was a sudden and traumatic loss for Diva and her loved ones. 

"I had two choices - curl in the fetal position or go through the motions. I'm not sure that I've actually grieved for him properly, I just kept myself very busy and distracted," she tells Mamamia. 

"At a certain point, people start to get on with their lives, and you're left to grieve alone. I just had to take it one hour at a time. And then when that became easier, I took things one day at a time and so forth. It was a few years later that I finally stopped and reflected - and I figured it was time to focus on myself, my happiness and my independence again."

A few months ago while at lunch with a friend, Diva was asked if she had "anybody new in her life". When Diva said no, her friend suggested online dating, which Diva was strongly against. She didn't feel ready for dating. But sex on the other hand - that was something she felt was missing. 

"My friend told me a story about a girlfriend of hers who had gone through a difficult divorce and decided to hire a male escort. And I figured why the hell haven't I thought of that? I had seen the movie Good Luck to You, Leo Grande so I was reminded of that too," she says.

While on the train home from lunch in the city, Diva began searching online for male escorts. 

The seed had been sown.

Watch: Glennon Doyle on choosing an authentic life. Post continues below.

Her criteria were as follows - they had to be in a certain age range. She had to see their face in their advertised photos, and she wanted to pick someone she was attracted to. Next was the location, and the final factor was of course price. 

She found a few she was interested in and decided to message them. And away she went. 

"I texted back and forth with a few and whittled them down. I wanted to be able to talk directly on the phone to them before meeting as well, as I didn't want a David Beckham situation - a good-looking man, but an unattractive voice," she tells Mamamia. 

"I was ideally looking for men between the ages of 45 and 55. I am 62 for reference. But the one I ended up going with was 30, as there were slim pickings in my preferred age range. I initially didn't want to go with the 30-year-old man, as I told him I was old enough to be his mother. But he was gently persistent and very attractive. And I felt comfortable in our communication."

Things evolved over the next 48 to 72 hours, and Diva decided to book this escort's services. 

His fees were on the pricier side, but she figured it was worth going "the full monty on this". In total, the service was $5000.

After a very considered decision, weighing up the pros and cons, Diva decided to book the escort to come to her home. She stresses it was a decision she did not make lightly, but one she felt most comfortable with rather than booking a random motel room.

"I wanted the luxe package. I booked him for an overnight service, plus the flexibility of some extra hours in the morning. I also figured that sleeping with a male escort was far safer than a complete stranger on a dating site. So after doing my research, away I went," she tells Mamamia. 

"I knew this was a business transaction as well between us, and I liked that aspect. I made sure to tell him upfront what I wanted, to be able to maximise the experience and enjoyment. And he made it happen."

As for the experience itself - Diva says it was one of the best things she's ever done.

"He was passionate, intimate and sexually talented. It was beautiful to experience a man in my bed again after so many years. The sex was just the end game. It was the physicality of having another physical presence in the house that felt great. He was with me for 16 hours, and once he left I crashed and burned from it all."

Afterwards, Diva says she felt like an entirely different person. She finds it interesting that one experience like this could have such a profound impact - but it genuinely did for her.

"I feel completely awakened, alive and no longer invisible," she says about the past few months since her night with the escort. Diva wants women who are in their mid-life and over to know they are in the prime of their sexual life. And it's about time we all started championing that.

"Us women over 60 have so much to offer as companions, partners and also lovers. We have life experience that has shaped us. We're independent, empowered and free-thinking. And people find that appealing."

Recently, Diva has confided in a few select friends about her encounter and says it's been very interesting to see the variety of reactions from various people. And it's been telling as well. 

"I've told my sister and three good girlfriends. They all reacted so well and were really incredible. But when I told another woman, she was horrified, and I feel as though she's begun to judge my character because of it. Now I've had to make a note to myself to be cautious about who I tell. I have nothing to hide and I'm not ashamed of anything I've done - if anything, that woman's reaction tells more about her than me," Diva says.

Booking an escort isn't something for everyone, and that's okay. But Diva had such a positive and empowering experience, she wants women to know the option is there if they so wish.

Recently, Diva has ventured into the realm of online dating, saying she now feels like she has the confidence to give it a go. It's been an eye-opening experience for her.

"I've been speaking with one 50-year-old guy, and we're set to meet up for a date soon. I sent him a message reminding him I'm 62 and I probably look my age, and he replied: 'You're a beautiful woman with a good head on her shoulders, with a very sexy personality and that knows how to light a fire in a guy's spirit and soul'. And that made me feel amazing," she says.

"Even aside from dating, I'm enjoying the flexibility and independence of being on my own. I'm reclaiming it."

Until she feels ready to settle down again, Diva plans to continue dating, as well as make occasional bookings with the male escort who changed everything for her. 

Diva wants other women to know it's okay to put your needs first, and even to put yourself out of your comfort zone [safely] - because women of every age have so much to offer.

"Be bold, live your best life. Only now have I realised how much power I have," she says. "I'm certainly not the woman I was three months ago, and I barely recognise myself now - in a good way. The genie has been taken out of the bottle and she can never be put back."

This woman's name has been changed for privacy reasons, and she has opted for Diva as a pseudonym. Her identity is known to Mamamia. 

Feature Image: Getty.

 Are you a big spender or an ultimate saver? Take our short survey to go in the running to win a $50 gift voucher!