'After my divorce, I hired a male escort. It was the best decision I've ever made.'

It was swimming that finally convinced Genevieve to leave her marriage of 23 years. 

Or, specifically, the group of women she'd begun open-water swimming with.

"I've become such a cliché," she laughed. "Mid-fifties menopausal, joined an open-water swimming group …but they're just the most incredible group of women. 

"One day, a member of the group said something that really resonated with me. She said 'we've got around 27 summers left.' And it hit me like a lightning bolt. On the way home from swimming, I said to my friend, 'I don't think I can do another 27 summers like this'."

Genevieve said her husband was 'blindsided' by the revelation she was unhappy in their marriage, even though they hadn't had sex in 10 years. But leaving him was the first step towards a future she could begin to get excited about again.

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"We've done the whole process as kindly as possible," she reflected, "but I realised how much of myself I'd been suppressing.

Chief among the parts she'd been suppressing was Genevieve's sex drive.

"I used to be a very sexual person, but it was never very important to my husband, so over time I just told myself that it wasn't too important to me either," she said.

A year out from her separation, Genevieve began to wonder what sex after divorce might look like for her. Was she ready for dating apps? To be naked with someone new?

"Basically, I wanted to check that everything still worked," she joked.  

It was then she came across the website for Her Confidant — a women-focused escort agency.

"I really liked the fact that you were dealing with a woman — not directly with the person you might end up booking, which could feel like another version of online dating," she explained.

"That was on Saturday. Coincidentally, the next day a friend sent me an article about Anna, the founder. A few weeks later I heard her interviewed on the Mamamia podcast, No Filter, and I'm a big believer in recognising green flags."

After an initial call with Anna, then combing through the website again, Genevieve decided on James — for a number of reasons. 

"I didn't want a younger guy, and I wasn't into the whole abs, fantasy thing," she explained.

"And each of the men have a little bit of information about them on the website. James mentioned a film, and it was the same film I lost my virginity to," she laughed, "I mean it had to be a sign."

Over the next few weeks, Genevieve chatted back and forth with Anna about what she might expect from a night with one of Her Confidant's 'companions'.

"She was just like a friend," exclaimed Genevieve, "I mean, I know intellectually that she's not my friend, and I know that there's a transaction and all of that sort of stuff, but she made it completely not like that. She made everything sound very safe."

As a self-confessed 'process-driven person', Genevieve needed to know exactly how the night would progress were she to go through with it. 

"Anna talked me through everything — from guiding me on which hotel to book, to stepping me through the process. I needed to get my head around the transition points. At what point would we progress upstairs to the room? When does it move into the sex portion of the evening? Who leads things, him or I?"

Anna stepped her through every hurdle. Alcohol? She recommended a drink, but no more than one. Music? Genevieve could provide Anna with a list of her favourite songs, to help set the mood. Payment? "All the business stuff happened before the day," explained Genevieve, "which meant that it felt much less transactional when it happened."

By the time the night came around, Genevieve (in spite of having a few nerve-wobbles beforehand) was excited. 

"In many ways, it was like getting ready for a date," she said.

"I wore an outfit I'd owned for about five years but had never worn. I got myself coiffed. I was as happy with the way I looked as I could be, even though I'm not completely happy in my skin at the moment. I had Spanx underwear on, and I'd made all these plans about how I was going to take them off without him noticing. I felt good."

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"I went down to the bar, and I made sure I was early, and then I realised I hadn't done my eyebrows," she said.

"I debated whether I should go back to the room but decided he wasn't going to notice my eyebrows. And so I forgot about the eyebrows. And then I ordered a dirty martini. I used to have those, you know, when I'd go out on dates before I met my husband, so that kind of took me back a little bit into that headspace."

It was about then that James arrived. 

"Anna had texted me to let me know when James was arriving, and what he'd be wearing," she said.

"He was delightful from the get go. He was nice looking, but not in an over-the-top, Fabio kind of way. He was wearing an outfit that he could have worn to work, he had a satchel with him, and he had keys with him. It was really so normal."

"He said, 'you know, we can do whatever you like tonight. What do you want to do?' 

"I found myself saying, 'look, I haven't been kissed for, I couldn't tell you how long, and I'm talking years.' I said, 'I used to be a pretty good kisser.' Imagine that I'm in the middle of a conversation with someone that I've never met, but feeling comfortable enough to say that to him? He was just so open and in the moment."

Soon enough, the pair moved up to Genevieve's room, where she immediately hot-footed to the bathroom to remove said Spanx. 

"There are no drawers in modern hotel rooms," she laughed, "so I hid them under a towel on the bathroom floor!"

Meanwhile, James got the lights, then asked if he could kiss her.

"We had massive, massive pash," she recalled, "I would say, maybe 10 minutes. And it was HOT."

"Then he said 'why don't we just climb up on the bed and we can make out?' And I'm like, okay, so then I started to get much more relaxed, and eventually we did the deed. A few times. And it was kind of led by him, but with certain requests from me, and it all felt very strange but normal! I mean, I was lying there at one point going, I can't believe I'm here with someone!"

Genevieve said that some of the best moments were the times in-between sessions, where she and James simply lay around chatting. 

"I'd forgotten about the pillow talk side of things," she recalled fondly, "it just made me realise the kind of experiences I'd like to have moving forward, when and if I do meet someone else."

The allotted time eventually came to an end, ("James stayed a little over the time limit, and left when it felt natural, which was nice," Genevieve says) and she was left in a luxurious hotel room to enjoy a blissful night's sleep alone. 

"The hotel was near the beach where I was meeting my swimming group the next morning," she said, "so I woke up, had breakfast, then walked down to meet the women. The first thing my friend said to me when she saw me was 'Oh my god, what have you done?! What's different? You're glowing!"

A few months on from that night, Genevieve says it still brings her joy to think about — and was an overwhelmingly positive experience. 

"Something has shifted in me a little bit, and I'm starting to feel a little bit like who I used to be in terms of my sexuality," she says. 

"When and if I do move on to a new relationship, I have such a firmer sense of myself — of who I want to continue to be."

Feature Image: Getty.