Hilaria Baldwin has broken the unspoken rule of pregnancy: Don't announce it too early.

Content warning: This post contains mentions of pregnancy loss and miscarriage and may be triggering for some readers. Help is available via Sands‘ 24-hour pregnancy loss support line: call 1300 072 637.

Hilaria Baldwin has broken a rule. She’s announced that she’s pregnant, “very early” in her pregnancy – and just five months after a miscarriage. And, predictably, there’s someone ready to criticise her for it.

Yoga instructor Hilaria and her actor husband, Alec, are parents to Carmen, six, Rafael, four, Leonardo, three, and Romeo, one. This week, on Instagram, Baldwin posted a video of her unborn baby’s heartbeat.

“It is still very early… but we have learned that there is a little person inside of me,” she wrote. “The sound of this strong heart makes me so happy – especially because of the loss we experienced in the spring. We want to share this news as we are excited and don’t want to hide the pregnancy.”

 

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It is still very early…but we have learned that there is a little person inside of me ????. The sound of this strong heart makes me so happy—especially because of the loss we experienced in the spring. We want to share this news as we are excited and don’t want to hide the pregnancy. These first few months are tough with exhaustion and nausea…and I don’t want to have to pretend that I feel ok. My one request is that the media not send paparazzi to follow me or buy independent paparazzi photos, hence encouraging them. I want to remain peaceful during this very early time in my pregnancy and getting chased around by cameras is not in the doctor’s orders ????

A post shared by Hilaria Thomas Baldwin (@hilariabaldwin) on Sep 18, 2019 at 9:46am PDT

Baldwin went on to explain that the first few months were “tough with exhaustion and nausea”, and she didn’t want to have to pretend that she felt okay. She requested that the media not get paparazzi to take photos of her.

“I want to remain peaceful during this very early time in my pregnancy and getting chased around by cameras is not in the doctor’s orders.”

Most of her followers posted congratulations. But one person couldn’t understand why Baldwin was sharing the news so soon.

“If she wants to remain peacefully why does she expose her pregnancy at early stage and take the risks instead of listening the doctor’s order,” the person commented. “Celebrities are really strange lol.”

Within minutes, Baldwin had jumped in to explain her reasoning.

“People poke around and try to find out what is going on,” she posted. “When you simply share what is happening, you take the story into your own hands and they tend to leave you alone more.

“Reports of my belly growing or my appearance changing spark rumours. That brings attention.”

Baldwin followed up her heartbeat video with a photo of herself side-on, showing a tiny bump.

 

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When you’ve had so many babies, 6 minutes pregnant = looking like 6 months pregnant ????????‍♀️????????????

A post shared by Hilaria Thomas Baldwin (@hilariabaldwin) on Sep 18, 2019 at 11:15am PDT

“When you’ve had so many babies, 6 minutes pregnant = looking like 6 months pregnant,” she wrote.

The fact is, it’s Baldwin’s choice to announce she’s pregnant whenever she wants to announce it – at six minutes or at six months or not at all. Your baby, your news. And she’s very clearly explained her reasons.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who’s a fan of Baldwin. In April, she announced on Instagram that she was “most likely” experiencing a miscarriage, even though she hadn’t yet shared the news of her pregnancy. She told her followers that although there was a heartbeat, it wasn’t strong, and the baby wasn’t growing very much.

 

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I want to share with you that I am most likely experiencing a miscarriage. I always promised myself that if I were to get pregnant again, I would share the news with you guys pretty early, even if that means suffering a public loss. I have always been so open with you all about my family, fitness, pregnancies…and I don’t want to keep this from you, just because it isn’t as positive and shiny as the rest. I think it’s important to show the truth…because my job is to help people by being real and open. Furthermore, I have no shame or embarrassment with this experience. I want to be a part of the effort to normalize miscarriage and remove the stigma from it. There is so much secrecy during the first trimester. This works for some, but I personally find it to be exhausting. I’m nauseous, tired, my body is changing. And I have to pretend that everything is just fine—and it truly isn’t. I don’t want to have to pretend anymore. I hope you understand. So, this is what is going on now: the embryo has a heartbeat, but it isn’t strong, and the baby isn’t growing very much. So we wait—and this is hard. So much uncertainty…but the chances are very, very small that this is a viable pregnancy. I have complete confidence that my family and I will get through this, even if the journey is difficult. I am so blessed with my amazing doctor, my dear friends, and my loving family…My husband and my four very healthy babies help me keep it together and have the perspective of how truly beautiful life is, even when it occasionally seems ugly. The luck and gratitude I feel that I am my babies’ mommy, is wonderfully overwhelming and comforting. In your comments, please be kind. I’m feeling a bit fragile and I need support. I’m hoping, that by sharing this, I can contribute to raising awareness about this sensitive topic.

A post shared by Hilaria Thomas Baldwin (@hilariabaldwin) on Apr 4, 2019 at 6:47am PDT

“I’m feeling a bit fragile and I need support,” she posted. “I’m hoping, that by sharing this, I can contribute to raising awareness about this sensitive topic.”

Baldwin later told Today that she was met with a “sea of support”.

“Women came on my Instagram or stopped me on the street and gave me such wisdom. This isn’t about me. This is about all of us.”

As Baldwin points out, so many women deal with the grief of miscarriage, but are trained to deal with it silently. That rule about not telling anyone about a pregnancy for the first three months means that a lot of miscarriages are never spoken about. Miscarriage, as common as it is, is kept in the dark. It means many women end up feeling isolated in their grief, instead of being able to share it with other women who have been through the same thing. A rule that’s meant to protect women could actually be hurting them.

“You’re definitely not supposed to say something until 12 weeks,” Baldwin said. “And some of that is because people are superstitious or that’s how they feel they’re going to be stronger. And a lot of it, for other people, is fear. And I don’t think that we have to live with such fear.”

When a woman has had a miscarriage, there’s extra pressure on her to hold back with the news of her next pregnancy, to wait until that magic “safe” 12-week mark, or even beyond. But is that really helping pregnant women who’ve previously had a miscarriage? Don’t they need as much support and understanding as possible in those early months?

These are the things pregnant women never say. Post continues below.

Baldwin has done a lot of good by being so open – firstly about her miscarriage in April, and then about her pregnancy this week. Although there was that one ignorant comment, which she quickly shut down, there were many more comments from people who appreciated her openness.

“Such great news and so encouraging for those of us that have experienced loss!” wrote one follower.

“Thank you for sharing and allowing yourself to be excited again,” added another. “Your loss helped me through my loss and now I’m six months with my rainbow.”

“So so so elated for you!” posted another. “I remember the relief and explosive joy in hearing those first heartbeats post-miscarriage. Sending you all my love and good baby vibes!”

If this has raised any issues for you or if you would like to speak with someone, please contact the Sands Australia 24-hour support line on 1300 072 637. You can download Never Forgotten: Stories of love, loss and healing after miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death for free here, and join the community of women, men and families who have lost a child in our private Facebook group.