'Positivity rubs off.' 5 tips to help your teen navigate the transition to high school.

We all remember the transition to high school. The first day nerves, adjusting to having multiple teachers, and trying to figure out your core group of friends - it was full of new challenges and plenty of changes. 

The transition from primary school to secondary can be really exciting but it can also be a stressful and nerve-wracking experience. It marks a significant time of change for young people as they move from what is familiar to what is unknown, and learn to negotiate a whole new social and learning environment. 

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It is important for parents and carers to stay informed about their teen’s transition to high school and to learn how to support them as they experience these changes. A positive transition is important for a young person’s overall mental health and well-being, and parents play a key role in helping young people navigate this phase and settle into high school. 

If you’re unsure of how you can best support your teen as they navigate this transition, here are a few things to remember: 

1. Friendships are key.

During high school, friends can become the most important people in your teen’s life. Strong and healthy friendships contribute to feelings of belonging and connectedness and can act as an important support network for your teen as they navigate their formative years in a new and exciting environment. Having friends can also increase a young person's self-esteem, self-confidence and social competence. All of these outcomes are important protective factors for a young person's overall well-being. 

Unfortunately, making new friends is not always easy. Forming and maintaining friends is a fundamental life skill that we need to nurture in young people. Reassure your teen that it is normal to feel nervous and worried about making new friends, but when they do connect with other students, it will help them manage the challenges of high school. Encourage them to participate in social activities or extracurricular activities to try and meet new people with similar interests. And if possible, show them that their new friends will be welcome at your home after school and on the weekends. Doing so will help them to develop stronger relationships with their peers. 

2. It helps to talk to someone that has walked the same path.

It can be reassuring to have a conversation with someone that has already been through it. Whether that’s an older sibling or cousin, or a family friend, they will be able to share their experience with your teen to help them feel comfortable and to know what to expect. This can be particularly helpful if the person that your teen speaks to attends the same school. 

3. It’s important to check in regularly.

Your teen may want more independence as they make the transition to secondary school. However, you still play a crucial role in ensuring that this next chapter in their life is a positive one. Checking in regularly with your teen during those initial months will help you to determine how they are feeling and whether they are coping with the challenges of a new school environment. 

Make time to connect with your teen on a regular basis at a time that works for both of you. Ask them questions about their friendships and their school work, and reassure them about some of the feelings or concerns they may be having. Encourage them to ask questions about school and their teen years and work together to address any fears or worries they might have. 

Having these types of conversations regularly will improve your communication and overall relationship with your teen, so that they know they can turn to you for support if needed. 

4. There will be more homework.

Moving to high school means new subjects and assessments, a variety of different teaching styles, and an increased workload. To ensure that your teen does not feel overwhelmed by the increase in work there are a few things you can do to prepare them. 

Put together a study routine ahead of time and help them to maintain it. Your teen might find that they work best after dinner, in comparison to straight after school. Aligning study time with when your teen is most motivated will make it easier for them to achieve their study goals. It is also important to set up a quiet and distraction free study zone in your house where your teen can do their homework undisturbed. Creating this physical space will set the mood for study and help them to remain focused. If you do feel like your teen is struggling, reach out to the relevant school contact as they may need extra support. 

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5. Positivity rubs off.

It’s important for parents and carers to remember that most teens will have a smooth transition to high school. Both primary and secondary schools do a lot to prepare students for this next phase and there are systems in place to support them on their journey. Try to keep this in mind and to stay positive. Teens do pick up on how their parents or carers are feeling about things, so it’s important to remain positive about this phase. Even if your own experience of high school was a challenging one, approach your teen’s experience with a fresh perspective. Encourage them to feel excited about the transition and high school in general. And remind them it’s possible to feel excited and nervous at the same time. 

If you are worried about your teen and you need some extra support, the school will be your first port of call. They will be able to provide you with more information on what has been happening in your teen’s life. Check with the school who the best person to contact is. It might be your teen’s homeroom teacher, year advisor, or the school counsellor.

If your child is showing signs of anxiety, or stress, that have persisted for more than a few weeks contact your family GP. You can also check out ReachOut’s Parents hub for evidence-based tips and articles on how to help your teen navigate the transition to secondary school and manage their mental health and wellbeing. 

Linda Williams is the Clinical Lead at leading youth mental health service, ReachOut.

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