In the latest ‘stop the world, we want to get off’ moment, yesterday brought the news that six-year-old Alana Thompson, who became famous on US reality television show Toddlers and Tiaras, is now getting her own spin-off series, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
If you’re confused and blinking at this point, Toddlers and Tiaras follows the lives of young pageant contestants and their families as they compete for crowns, sashes, tiaras and above all else: cash. It’s ‘train wreck’ television. You know you shouldn’t watch it but somehow your finger slips on the remote and ‘oh whoops’ you watched the whole episode and now you want to tell everyone how appalling it is.
And let’s address the elephant in the room. Honey Boo Boo’s family are poor, uneducated and describe themselves as ‘red-necks’. Clearly, watching their outrageous behaviour and listening to them interact is the basis of the cringe appeal.
Alana – nicknamed ‘Honey Boo Boo’ – is the ultimate pageant stereotype. Her extraordinary mother June subjects her to spray tans, hair bleach, false eyelashes and hires ‘professional’ pageant coaches to drill her in her heartbreakingly weird, sexualised dance routines.
June also gives her 6 year old ‘go go juice’ – fizzy drink that contains huge amounts of Red Bull and Mountain Dew (read: caffeine and sugar). But nothing we can write can come close to watching it all unfold.
Here’s Alana (AKA Honey Boo Boo) jumping around after drinking the ‘go go juice’:
And now Honey will have her very own show.
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is less focused on the pageant side of things and more on the Thompson family themselves. There are three older sisters, as well as ‘Coupon Queen’ mother June and ‘Sugar Bear’ father Mike.