Read Mamamia’s very detailed recap of what went down with Helena on Wednesday’s episode of The Bachelor Australia.
Some journalists solve crimes.
Others uncover conspiracies.
Today, I’m analysing the body language of a 32-year-old astrophysicist who’s allegedly looking for love on The Bachelor.
On Wednesday night's episode, former Bachelor couples Sam and Snezana Wood, and Matty J and Laura Byrne, visited Matt Agnew to a) get the gossip and b) start some sh*t.
While Sam, Matty J and Matt (surely there's something to be said about the fact there are two former Bachelor's named Matt and little to no cultural diversi... never mind) threw a football around while talking about THE CHIX, Laura and Snezana went to the mansion to meet the seven women who have paused their lives to pursue love on national television.
They sat down one on one with each woman to ask some serious questions.
After effectively interviewing a group of grown women for the highly sought after position of Matt's girlfriend, Laura and Snezana then had to choose one to take to dinner.
No, they didn't choose Kristen, who touched their baby bumps against their will and urged them to teach their unborn children Chinese.
No, they also didn't choose Emma, who is collecting pieces of Matt's hair so she can create a ball of debris to present to him.
Watch the moment Matt sent a clear message about Helena. Post continues after video.
They chose Helena - a 25-year-old from Western Australia who works as a Human Resources Consultant.
But before she arrived at dinner, Matty J gave Matt a set of very clear instructions:
"If they pick a good girl, give me a wink," he said. "If it's a bad girl, give me a little ear adjust."
Here he can be seen demonstrating:
Of course Matt, ever the diplomat, responded by assuring Matty J that all the girls would warrant a wink.
But that's what you have to say.
This is important, because when Helena did arrive, and everyone sat down to enjoy dinner, I noticed a lil' somethin somethin.
A sign.
While everyone else was focusing on the conversation, or stalking Helena on Instagram, I saw it.
MATT CLEARLY TUGGED HIS EAR AND BY GOD IF THAT'S NOT A SIGN I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.
Sir.
You were asked to tug your ear if the girl brought to dinner was a bad choice and you tugged. On the TV.
For some reason, no one brought it up, but if Matty J's persistent interrogation was anything to go by, he knew.
While Helena ended up getting a rose, the preview for tonight's episode shows a date between her and Matt going horribly wrong.
But it could have ALL BEEN AVOIDED if someone had just paid attention to the poor man trying to pull his own ear off at the head of the table.
Case. Closed.
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