'I thought I was in menopause. Then 8 words from my doctor turned my life upside down.'

Growing up, Liz thought her life would follow a predictable trajectory: meet a man, fall in love, get married, and have children.

But her path twisted and turned in unimaginable ways.

"It took me a while to find a man of substance," Liz told Mamamia.

When she married her husband Greg at 35 years old, Liz was aware that her biological clock was ticking.

And she wanted to waste no time starting a family.

"We tried and tried and tried and tried and tried…. and it didn't happen for us quickly at all," Liz, now 56, said.

For the next 18 months, every pregnancy test remained negative. So the couple visited a doctor, and were referred to a fertility specialist.

After many tests, they learnt the hard truth.

Greg had anti-sperm antibodies — proteins that mistakenly attack sperm cells. 

"You can't have babies on your own," the doctor told them, explaining they would have to have IVF [In Vitro Fertilisation].

Liz and Greg looked at each other in shock. The specialist asked if they had any questions, but the then-36-year-old was in "fight or flight."

"There were a lot of tears," said Liz. "I felt bad for my husband… he felt horrendous. He kind of closed down and didn't really know how to speak about it."

Watch: Lyndal Bubke on discovering she has 77 half-siblings. Post continues after video.

As the couple tried to "muddle through the shock" of the news, they realised that IVF was the only way forward.

"It was like, we've got no choice. If we want children, this is what we will have to do," she recalled.

But the process challenged Liz and Greg in ways they never could have imagined.

"It's very emotional and invasive," Liz said. "Every month, as a woman, we can have a lot of heightened emotions. So, when we're being given a lot of other hormones as well, it can really affect our body, emotions, and our relationship."

Each round of IVF would take about a month, followed by a two-week wait to see if the procedure was successful. For Liz and Greg, those 14 days were spent "praying, hoping, desperately, that the embryo stuck."

When the first round was unsuccessful, the couple were left feeling "useless, hopeless, and broken".

They tried two more times. Neither worked.

"I did three rounds together, took a break, then I did another three together," said Liz.

After the third unsuccessful attempt, Liz knew she needed to learn how to stop catastrophising while waiting for results, while also managing her own expectations.

"That two-week wait is a big, inner, journey of doing your best to remain calm," she said. "Stress can create a lot of inflammation, and these are all things going on in your mind. Will this impact what I'm doing? No, I can't think of anything bad. But I don't know if I want to think really good, because what if it's really bad?"

As time passed and nothing changed, Liz thought she was letting her family down.

"There's all of this emotion of, I wish I could give my husband a baby. I wish I could give my in-laws a baby. I wish my own parents could become grandparents," she said.

Of course, Liz's loved ones were nothing but supportive. But there were times when people unintentionally missed the mark, telling her things like: "Just relax, it will be okay."

There were moments where she considered giving up entirely, but her desire to be a parent was too strong.

"I'd give myself a break and then it would be… I just want to be a mum. I just want to understand what it's like to be pregnant," she said. "We even looked at what it would be like to adopt. But, for us, we just couldn't go through that. I wanted to understand what it's like to hold my own baby."

Liz and her husband Greg tried multiple rounds of IVF, which were unsuccessful. Image: Instagram/@lizwalton_fertilitycoach

Over seven years, Liz and Greg tried six separate rounds of IVF. They had spent over $60,000 on treatments, and another $30,000 on counselling and support. Still, they had no baby.

But it was a conversation with a friend that finally helped her "move forward."

"I remember my friend saying, 'Liz, you've got to break that glass; the mirror you're looking in, hoping that life would be like you wanted it to be, that has to break into a million pieces. Just allow it," Liz recalled.

The words became Liz's "northstar" to let go of her dream of motherhood.

For the next two years, she focused on herself and being an aunty.

By the time Christmas rolled around, for the first time in a while, Liz was ready to let her hair down.

Then, suddenly, she fell sick.

"I was like, 'Wow, menopause, that was quick,'" Liz recalled.

But the 45-year-old had made the wrong assumption.

"The doctor did a test and came back giggling," she continued.

Then they said eight words Liz will never forget: "You are not in menopause, you are pregnant."

She couldn't believe it, and told the doctor as such.

"I was like, 'No that's impossible… there is just no way'," Liz said.

"I had worked so hard on myself that this was a shock and I did not know how to accept this information."

Still in denial, she rushed to take seven pregnancy tests. Though each one came back positive, Liz and Greg were in utter "disbelief" that, after years of agony, they had fallen pregnant naturally.

It wasn't until Liz's 12-week scan that the reality set in.

"I saw this little thing, that little outline, and the emotion poured over me," she said. "It was like I wasn't crying, but tears were coming down my face."

Five minutes later, however, the doctor delivered confronting news.

"It's not looking good… there's too much fluid behind the [baby's] neck. We're looking at chromosomal issues or possibly down syndrome." 

What came next, Liz described as "one of the deepest spiritual experiences" of her life. 

"I had to learn present moment awareness because there was a little thing in my body that had arrived here, even though the doctors told me things might not be right, I still had to move forward," sje said.

For the next 24 weeks, Liz worked with a therapist and did "everything she could" to manage her emotions. Then, the day finally came.

"In the end, there was nothing they could find that was wrong, and I had a wonderfully healthy baby at the age of 46," she told Mamamia.

At 46, Liz welcomed a baby girl named Willow. Image: Supplied

When Liz held her baby girl, Willow, for the first time, any fleeting doubt about being an older mum vanished. And she realised the gift she had been given.

"To go through the feelings of 'I could never be a parent' to eventually hold my own baby was beyond compare. It really felt like a true miracle," she said.

Adjusting to motherhood was a new challenge for Liz, but she had the resilience needed for the hardest parts.

"Everything the fertility journey taught me has allowed me the tools I need to be a parent, and being an older mum allowed me wisdom. Yes, it's a tough journey, but I think it really supported me to become the best mother I could be."

While the past 10 years have made Liz into the person she is today, at the beginning she had no idea where to turn.

That's why she has teamed up with fertility therapist Helen Zee to launch the Melbourne Fertility Expo, taking place on Saturday, 8th November.

The event will bring together more than 45 exhibitors including IVF specialists, counsellors, naturopaths, and financial services, to give families access to trusted advice, community, and hope, all under one roof.

"Until you're in that space of pain and anguish, you just don't realise what you're going to need to know," Liz said. "The Melbourne Fertility Expo is a space to offer this support and help, and give us the tools to walk our path in the healthiest and most fertile way possible."

Feature Image: Instagram/@lizwalton_fertilitycoach