A comprehensive list of the things all mums hate queuing up for.

Getting the kids ready for the school term. Ferrying them from sleepovers to swimming lessons to soccer and ballet classes. Helping with homework and facilitating fun time. Yep, coordinating our kid’s lives can feel like a military operation leaving us frazzled, exhausted and most of all, time poor. So the last thing we want to do with our precious minutes is wait in a queue for anything – be it a takeaway coffee, the school pick-up, a new iPhone or the loo. Here are some of the most frustrating queues for us parents.

1. The daily latte.

After a busy morning dropping the kids at childcare, kinder or school, most mums are keen to dive headfirst into a large trough of caffeine to fuel them through the rest of the day. And we don’t want to wait for our coffee fix.

There is every chance we will collapse into a narcoleptic heap if we end up behind a lactose intolerant conversationalist debating the benefits of almond milk with a bored barista. I am lucky to have found a decent drive thru coffee shop where I can avoid queues and belt out some Adele while waiting for my daily latte. And they give me a free newspaper… Not that I ever get to read it.

2. Supermarket checkouts.

Supermarkets and kids are not a good mix. Often patience needs to be bought with unhealthy snacks so you can appease your brood long enough to fill your trolley with a week’s worth of grub. After a power-shop through the aisles, the sight of a long queue can be as horrifying as your post-Christmas credit card statement. And don’t even get me started on the “unexpected item in bagging area” alert when using the self-service checkout.

Before I procreated, I’d catch up on celebrity gossip by flicking through a trashy mag while I waited for the empty conveyor belt. Now with two uncooperative kids in tow I spend my time explaining why they can’t open the tempting bags of lollies or eat a KitKat for lunch. When I can’t be bothered with supermarket queues, I pay the extra to buy my groceries online. Viva la broadband.

3. Concerts.

Whether it be going to The Wiggles with your pre-schooler, braving a Tay Tay concert with your teenage daughter or taking your mum to Cirque du Soleil for her birthday, there are few things more banal than waiting in line to get through the turnstiles at a large arena.

Confused people with mobile tickets unsure how to scan their barcode, impatient pushers getting their halitosis breath and smelly pits all up in your grill and exasperated staff herding you through the gates like sheep. By the time I get to my seat I’m ready for a glass of sauv and some Rescue Remedy. My advice, get Netflix and stay at home.

4. Toilets.

We’ve carried a heavy human for nine months and our pelvic floor muscles have cashed in their super and gone into early retirement so we don’t want to wait to wee. I’ve been known to use my post-pasta bloat to my advantage and pretend I’m pregnant to fast track a toilet queue.

I’ve also used the men’s on occasion despite the shocked faces at the urinal and yes, I have watered several shrubs after going on health kicks that require me to drink three gallons of water a day. We need more cubicles… Yes I’m looking at you festival portaloo purchasers and shopping centre architects.

5. Customs.

Facing an ever-winding queue at customs after a long haul flight can feel like an unjust pit stop in hell. After 22.5 hours crammed in an economy seat that would make a guinea pig claustrophobic, all I want to do is get home, shower and sleep.

I’m prone to whispering expletives under my breath when my family gets stuck behind a determined holiday-maker who repeatedly shoves their non-compatible passport into the not-so-SmartGate despite getting a big red “X” and instruction to “go to counter”.  I now beg my rich business class friends for express passes so we can hob nob our way through a shorter queue.

Life is way too hectic to waste time in a queue. Luckily as mums, we are hard-wired to trouble shoot our way to a quicker and less stressful alternative.

What do you hate queuing for?