Gwyneth Paltrow drops the c-bomb. Do you?

Last night Gwyneth Paltrow called her grandmother a c**t on live TV.   During an interview to promote her new cookbook, My Father’s Daughter, Gwyneth and Chelsea got to swapping family tales. They discovered that they both called their grandmothers “mutti”, the German for “mummy”.  Lately admitted “My mutti was a real bitch.” Gwyneth, seemingly without thinking shot back  “My mutti was a real c***.”

The SMH reports:

“Paltrow, married to Coldplay star Chris Martin, explained to Handler that her grandmother “just hated my guts, basically”.

“She tried to poison my mother against me, but it didn’t work, because I have a great mother,” she said.

“She was tough. You look back and you think she must not have been very happy and she must’ve had a lot of pain because she was mean as hell.”

Do you swear in public?  Do you find it offensive when people swear at work or on TV?  Mamamia regular, Bern Morley writes:

“A couple of years ago, after putting the toddler down for a nap, I found myself sitting on the couch  and settling  in for some mind numbing daytime television. After a bit of flicking, I came across a nondescript midday movie.  That’s when I heard some Z grade actor politely tell her husband to “Go fuck himself”.  Huh?  Isn’t it like, 12:30?  In the day?  30 minutes ago I was watching Iggle Piggle dance around like a nonce on the ABC.  Um, what in the fuck bloomin heck just happened?

Fast forward two years and there I was again, sitting on my backside, during the day, watching the Oscars, when Melissa Leo, in her acceptance speech, dropped this:  “When I watched Kate Winslet two years ago it looked so fucking easy.”   Clearly Channel Nine either a) wasn’t using their delay and dump button, or b) didn’t give a flying feck and figured they’d use daytime television for the free for all it clearly was.

Is swearing on TV, or in real life ever acceptable?  Well, it’s a hard call.  My idea of socially acceptable swearing may be completely different to yours.  But how does a television network or general society moderate what is OK?

For instance, I still to this day, do not understand the American system of censorship.  I mean where do they draw their line at what is allowed?  They’ve been known to bleep out the word arsehole, let the word ‘Fuck’ slide and then pixelate some guy’s bumcrack.  Who the hell is making these calls as to what is offensive?

The thing about swearing, I believe, is the context in which it is used.  Just swearing to swear is never OK and quite frankly, just makes the one with their mouth open look like an uneducated Bogan.  Yet, use the ever popular four letter F word correctly, and it certainly gets the point across like no other word in the land.  For instance to describe the following situations, you could for instance, use:

• Amazement: Infuckingcredible!
• Assurance: Absofuckinglutely.
• Difficulty: I’ve had a fucking shit of a time with this.
• Disagreement: Fuck you!
• Dismay: Oh My Fucking God!
• Dismissal: Fuck off.
• Incompetence: What a fuckwit.
• Inquiry: What the fuck?
• Pleasure: Fanfuckingtastic!
• Trouble: OK, now I’m fucked.

And here’s the thing.  I’m a massive swearer.  Fair to say I’ve used it in the car when oh; someone has cut me off and leaves me with no other option other than to call them a “stupid dickhead” complete with knobber motions on my own forehead. I have been known to get the shits with something that’s not quite working out right and possibly in a moment of annoyance, mutter “Oh, for Fucks Sakes”.    My personal swearing line is the C word.  You know the one. It has four letters, starts with C, ends in T and is used by vulgar people to describe a woman’s vagina.  Yeah, that one. Never said it, never written it and that is my line I draw in the sand when it comes to appropriate swearing.

The other thing is, as a parent, we have to realise our kids are watching and possibly imitating our every word. In fact, I know this to be true.  One sunny day in January, when stationed at a set of lights, a windscreen cleaner dude approached my car.  I made some fairly adamant hand motions indicating that, “no, we’re fine”.  That was when my four year old thought he might clarify the situation by putting down his car window and muttering to the guy walking past  “Yeah, just keep walking dickhead”.

Hey, only this weekend, when toasting each other over lunch, the four year old clinked my drink with his and yelled “Cheers Bitchears”.  That Mother of the Year Crown is mine I tell you, all mine.

Socially acceptable swearing, where is your line?”

Mia writess: “I have a shocking potty mouth. You can read about that here. I never swear AT people but I like to use swear words in a descriptive fashion when talking about things, or situations. My kids don’t swear. Yet. Except this one time in kindy when the class was playing a rhyming game and everyone was asked for a word that rhymes with duck. My gorgeous then-5-year-old raised his hand eagerly, certain he knew the answer. “Fuck!” he said proudly.

I was called in by the teacher. It was the first week of school. She tried to keep a serious face when she told me what happened. I tried to keep a serious face when I said “Honestly Miss Shelby, I have no idea where he would have heard that word!”

Ahem.

And yes, I use the c-word (although never in front of my kids).”

Are there certain words you do or don’t use?