'Get ready with me for nan's funeral'. The problem with the viral video trend.

It's 2023, and there's no such thing as over-sharing.

In a highly digitised world, an unfiltered life equals social connection, and the lines between public and private have become increasingly blurred.

One of the driving forces behind it? GRWM videos.

Watch: We need to talk about Mikayla Nogueira's viral TikTok video. Post continues below.

From curling your hair for your nan's funeral to perfecting your base makeup before turning yourself into jail: 'Get Ready With Me' (GRWM) videos have become deeply personal. And they're way more than sharing your beauty routine. 

They've become a space to share deeply personal stories and experiences. The kind of stuff that was once only shared with family or close friends. Or a drunk stranger in the bathroom.

So, how did this all start? And where are we going with it? 

Here, we chat with a psychologist and a therapist about the cultural force of the GRWM trend.

What are GRWM videos?

For the uninitiated, GRWM stands for 'Get Ready With Me'. It basically refers to content on TikTok, YouTube and Instagram, where the user shares their deepest thoughts while performing their daily beauty routine.

While they're certainly not new, they're becoming more popular than ever. 

To put it into perspective, the hashtag #grwm has had around two billion views over the past seven days, with 83 billion views overall. Huge.

Of course, beauty brands have now started to monetise the popularity of the trend, paying influencers to market their products while getting ready. 

And it's not only influencers, and micro-influencers creating these GRWM videos – it's everyday people jumping on the trend, too.

Why does GRWM videos make us want to share?

There's something about getting ready that has always just been inherently feminine. It's intimate. Comforting. A whole culture in itself.

Arguably, getting ready to go for a night out that is the best part of 'going out'. Sitting in your bedroom doing your makeup is a safe space where you share personal stories, feelings and experiences – usually between you and your closest friends. 

Leaning into this is also the beloved 'bathroom debrief' – which ultimately served not only as a place to touch-up your makeup but also as a space to gossip, trade compliments and make new friends.

It's where you can air out your real thoughts and share opinions, heartbreaks and pain – all without making eye contact. Because you're looking in a mirror and fixing your eye makeup, adding some concealer, and applying gloss to your lips.

As psychologist Tara Hurster from The Tara Clinic shares, "The start of the trend probably came from a desire to ease your nerves by doing something that means you’re often not looking at the camera and can therefore share more freely." 

"A great technique to get young people to share with you as a parent or caregiver is to pop them in the front seat of the car and drive with them. This allows them to share and you to share without the confrontation of eye contact." 

Driven by the pandemic, social media replaced the physical aspect of 'get ready with me', essentially offering us a space outside of reality to express ourselves, and vent our deepest thoughts and opinions, while still being able to connect with people. 

GRWM videos are the digital evolution of 'getting ready'. 

Except, instead of inviting friends, you're inviting others in on the getting-ready process. Watch any GRWM and you literally feel like you're FaceTiming a friend.

As therapist Jana Firestone tells Mamamia, "Inviting people into our private world, our inner sanctum, where we are unmasked and revealing our naked faces and thoughts at the same time, is incredibly inviting." 

"A privilege that once would have been reserved for only our closest friends. Now, our closest friends appear to be anyone that has access to Wi-Fi. Setting up the camera and beginning to chat as we start to get ready, peels back the layers of protection that we build up over the day and allows us to be raw and vulnerable. At least that’s the idea."

"For some [creators], it provides an opportunity to connect with their network in a meaningful way and creates a sense of community among their followers."

"For viewers, it creates the impression that they are being let in on something and that they are privy to that person’s inner world."

From the products to the tools and techniques used, these videos ultimately unveil the work that goes into creating a makeup look. However, you find yourself not only becoming invested in the process of the 'glow up' but also in their personal lives.

"Creating that sense of familiarity and closeness is appealing for both the person disclosing the information and the person watching it. In both cases, it creates a feeling of connection with people who you are not really connected with in real life. Setting the scene of getting ready together, implies an intimacy that isn’t really there."

Unlike the heavily sanitised and curated Instagram vibe, the beauty of this type of content is that it gives followers a completely unfiltered look into people's lives – and it seems nothing is off-limits.

In fact, these days, the more intimate, the better.

"Gone are the days of the perfect persona and what social media users connect with now are real stories and authenticity. Most social media users are pretty savvy when it comes to spotting the profiles with cultivated or curated feeds, and they are less likely to do as well as those that are more genuine," said Firestone.

"Unfortunately though, this means that there is also an increase in people sharing intimate information just for clicks. So, what started as a change in our cultural norms and the normalisation of authentic feelings and experiences, runs the risk of becoming inauthentic in some cases."

Have GRWM videos gone too far?

"Get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend because I just found out that he cheated on me," TikTok user @iammarialuv shares, holding back her tears while concealing her under eyes. "Honestly, I did not see this coming at all."

@iammarialuv #breakup #grwm ♬ original sound - Valerie Maria Brenes

In another clip, @mollypashmua shares "Get ready with me for my nan's funeral", as she curls her hair, spot conceals her blemishes and brushes gel through her brows. 

@mollypashbymua My heart will forever be broken but i know your happier and out of pain! Love you always my angel 🫶🏻🕊 only a short video #fyp #foryoupage #candycrush10 #makeup #mua #grwm ♬ Possibility - Lykke Li

Hyper-confessional GRWM videos are everywhere right now, and nothing is off-limits.

As @taylorlouiselawson shares with followers "Get ready with me to turn myself into jail edition", telling followers about a warrant she's had for the past five years while setting her makeup with powder.

@taylorlouiselawson Part 1: GRWM to go to jail. #fyp #foryou #jailtok #jailtime #prisontok #recovery #grwm #grwmroutine #makeup #hairstyle #hairstylist ♬ Cumbia Buena - Grupo La Cumbia

It can then be suggested that turning private matters into content has essentially become a way to evoke a sense of trust in your followers, and stay connected with them.

Meaning? The boundaries between what's public and private have become blurred.

Hurster said this shift of over-sharing says a lot about our culture, one that she says "desires attention."

"The problem with that is our brain's natural trait of habituation. Habituation is a threat/safety response that comes into play when the thing your senses have perceived doesn’t actually pose harm."

"For example, you put your favourite perfume on in the morning and you love the smell… at 10am you get into an elevator with someone who compliments you on your perfume but you can’t smell it anymore. The scent is still there but your brain has filed it under “not life-threatening” so it no longer pays attention to it." 

"The same can be said for 'shocking' content. People who watch dramatic things often will require more drama to experience the hit. Our brain and body get used to what’s 'normal' and don’t react the same way over time."

"For some people, the boundaries between what is public and private have almost evaporated and the desire to drive more eyes to their profile becomes the motivation for sharing every detail of their lives."

"As we know, there are entire industries now built on the back of content creation and engagement. For the majority of us, it’s important to consider what the impact of our sharing or oversharing might be, in our real lives and on the people in them."

Both experts emphasise the importance of reflecting on what the intentions are behind the posts we consume or share ourselves.

Take for example Dylan Mulvany, who has recently shared her thoughts on the importance of maintaining privacy in certain aspects of her life.

@dylanmulvaney Sharing a magical moment with @lavernecox ♬ original sound - Dylan Mulvaney

Hurster said this speaks to the importance of us taking a moment to consider what we're sharing. 

@thedrewbarrymoreshow @dylanmulvaney shares the wisdom she got from @lavernecox on documenting her transition 💛 #dylanmulvaney #lavernecox ♬ original sound - thedrewbarrymoreshow

"From time to time, do an audit of the videos you are watching and consider how much of it is authentic sharing and what might be created with the intention of gaining more engagement," Firestone said.

"For some videos, like Mia Freedman's chats during her 'Instababble', it’s an opportunity to get to know the people we admire a little bit better. For others, it might become clear that it’s a grab for attention," she adds.

While there's nothing wrong with either of those scenarios, she said it's important to keep perspective when it comes to our own lives and social media habits. 

"Take a bird's-eye view perspective in your own life and consider what might be appropriate to share on a global, internet-wide platform, and what might be better shared in person with friends."

What are your thoughts on GRWM videos? Do you think they're too personal? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

Feature image: TikTok; @mangoisbueno; @taylorlouiselawson; @rufarozimbudzi.