Group Therapy: She had an affair, should I tell her husband?

Has a friend ever confided in you? Told you about a secret that she wanted you to keep? Have you been tempted to tell because you think it is the right thing to do? Mamamia reader Jo* has. She writes:

My husband and I are good friends with another married couple. The wife of this other couple, confided in me last week that she has been sleeping with a colleague of hers in her marital home (even in the bed she shares with her husband) while her husband is at work or away. It has only been happening a couple of weeks, but she told me that it was unprotected, and frequent, despite the fact she maintains she loves her husband.

I convinced her to end it, which she claims she has, however I don’t quite believe her.

To make matters worse, I know her husband quite well, and he hasn’t got a clue. She claims that she will tell him about the affair ‘in her own time’. I don’t think she will.

So my question is, should the husband find out? If she doesn’t tell him, should I tell him? Even despite the fact it was an affair that is apparently ‘over’, he could possibly (worst case scenario) be at risk of STDs. Given his wife’s actions, I feel compelled to tell her husband, even if it means losing her as a friend.

What should I do? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

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