GROUP THERAPY: "Do I have post-baby blues or.......?"

By ANONYMOUS

I’m a 27-year-old Mother of two kids under two from Brisbane. I have little to no support from family & a small circle of friends from play groups etc.

I’m telling you my story as I desperately need help & nobody is listening. I don’t know who else to turn to. I don’t know if I have post natal depression or not as doctors are continuing to tell me to ‘think more positive’ or ‘look on the brighter side of things’. I cry almost everyday and simply just want to run away and quit.

My nearly six-month-old son has been sick with colds etc since he was six weeks old, as my toddler picks up most things from daycare. He has never taken a bottle or a dummy as he screams murder and refuses.

After multiple – and I’m talking multiple – trips to the doctor to help get him better (or me better) I’ve been told ‘he’s too little for any medication’, ‘he’ll have to ride it out to build his immune system’, ‘it’s just a cold’, PLUS ‘he needs the breastmilk to build his antibodies to help fight sickness’.

So I’ve persevered with breastfeeding him while I have been going downhill. He is on the larger size (80 per cent percentile and still fed every three hours – YES since he was born nearly six months ago) So as you can imagine, I haven’t had a break away from him or a good night’s rest since the beginning of the year.

I then paid $300 for a pediatrician to have him looked at at four months old to tell me he has asthma, and needs ventolin and steroids to help get him better. I am feeling like the WORST mother in the world here. He improves dramatically after 10 doses but still won’t take a bottle to give me a break.

I’m losing a lot of weight due to stress, not eating or sleeping and I’m losing my identity. I don’t know what I like or enjoy anymore. I’m too tired to function properly and probably can’t hold a normal conversation to someone about a topic other than kids.

I’ve started solids on him but he refuses that too. He just screams and turns his head away. I know that as he is on the larger size that he requires more than milk now. I know that this is not normal to feel like this as its not healthy for anybody. Not my relationship, my toddler or my baby. I’m crying as I wrote all this, as it’s my hectic sad life.

I’m waking up in the morning (not really waking up as I don’t sleep) but just wishing the day away already then it flies by and I don’t enjoy a second of it. This is no life to live.

I guess I’m just hoping that someone can help me out with who I can turn to for help. Or even a good doctor in my area?

Basically anything really. I’m suffering in silence here, and everybody just says that it’s meant to be this hard in the beginning having two kids under two years old.

We don’t have the money for me to see a counsellor but someone may know of some that offer free or rebated services to families in need.

Any advice or contact people that your company may know of that may be able to help me would make a world of difference to me and my family.

Anyone concerned about postnatal depression can contact the PANDA Helpline: 1300 726 306 or visit their website here. (Find fact sheets here.)