'After giving birth to my stillborn daughter nobody sent flowers.'

Last December I had a traumatic experience, my second child was stillborn.

This was due to a true knot (a knot in the umbilical cord that stops the flow of oxygen).  It was an unexpected and unforeseen tragedy.

Immediately after giving birth to my stillborn daughter, I was to discover there found there was little to no support to help me through this horrible time in my life.

At 37 weeks into my healthy pregnancy, one day I woke with no movement. I was told that my baby had died. I was yet to give birth to the daughter I had already name Charlee but suddenly I had to think about funeral arrangements.

For nine long months I had been dreaming of Charlee’s life. Instead I was handed bereavement forms and information packs- telling me what to expect, what to do next, how my relationship would suffer and how others would react to my baby born sleeping.

Our own angel Charlee #charleesbasket #stillbirthawareness #nomoretaboo #speakoutloud #bornsleeping

A photo posted by Charlee’s Basket (@charleesbasket) on Jul 24, 2016 at 9:13pm PDT

“Charlee’s Basket was created in her memory.” Image via Instagram. 

Nobody sent flowers. Nobody came to lend a hand. My partner did not attend the birth because he simply could not face it. Our seven-year relationship broke down from this experience. In the end the only reason for getting up in the morning was to care for my two-year-old daughter, Lana.

A few months after losing Charlee, by sharing what happened to me Charlee’s Basket was created – providing a complimentary pamper pack for families that have experienced the trauma of stillbirth and neonatal death.

Charlee’s Basket is a free hamper. I want nothing more than to provide a gift to families in a caring, compassionate and warm manner.

My mission is to create hampers for families that have experienced the loss of a child during pregnancy or the days after birth.

Beautifully presented modern gift baskets will be filled with all the essentials for parents during their hospital stay, plus some non-essentials to take home for the meant-to-be mum and/or dad.

Little gifts, flower seeds and children’s books explaining the situation would also be included for siblings.

Items that will definitely be included in all baskets are as followed;

• Wheat bag/heat pack
• Inkless print kit with a frame- Baby made
• Imprint kit- Baby made
• Maternity pads
• Nursing pads
• Food voucher for food delivery

Baskets with Siblings

• Seeds for siblings
• Children’s picture book

Initially Charlee’s Basket will provide hampers to local Victorian hospitals but over time we hope to expand to nation-wide deliveries and include more items.

We are aiming to launch Charlee’s basket with the Infant Loss and Remembrance Day on 15 October but it may be postponed.

I’m now in my third pregnancy and about 10 weeks away from having a newborn and I am not sure how juggling having a new baby again is going to affect the launch.

I am having the baby a little earlier due to what has happened with my last pregnancy.

Creating Charlee’s Basket and having that to work on really helps because I am busy and I am doing something for my daughter that I lost.  I am not thinking about it too much.

If anything happens there’s nothing I can do. After what I have been through I’ve had the life lesson that there’s nothing you can do.

You just have to take every day as it comes, one step at a time. I’m feeling hopeful.

Donate or contact Charlee’s Basket on Facebook or Instagram. 

On This Glorious Mess, we speak to Rebecca Sparrow about what to say to someone who has lost a baby

If you need help or you’d like to talk to someone about miscarriage, stillbirth or newborn loss, SANDS Australia have a 24 Hour Hotline. 1300 072 637. Or you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14.