Carrie Bradshaw told us it takes half the amount of time you were in a relationship to get over your relationship. Heartbreak is temporary. Healing is a process. Blah blah blah.
For me, it’s been three months. Three long months of chocolate, wine and girls’ nights in since my heart was torn in two. Three long months of learning to love myself again – working out, eating well and throwing myself into my job.
We have almost been apart longer than we were together. It’s been a REALLY long time. I should be ok by now. I should be out meeting new people, dating, getting married, buying houses and popping babies. But I’m not.
Some days, I feel like I’m really getting there. Others, I’m still a complete mess. Hurt, scattered and lonely.
I’ve accepted that I’ll never have the closure I deserved. I will never get the answers to my many, many questions. I will never see him again. And I will never really know why he thought a text message was a socially acceptable means to break up with someone who loved him so much.
I’ve stopped stalking him on social media. I’ve stopped awkwardly bringing him up in conversations with friends. I’ve stopped looking for him in crowded rooms, thinking about what could have been.
I’ve stopped loving him.
But it doesn’t mean I’m ‘over him’. It doesn’t mean I’m ready to move on. And it doesn’t mean I’m ready for him to move on either.