I got engaged last November. Thanks. I know – should be exciting times right? People always say planning a wedding can be difficult. That it’s hard to put up with everyone’s opinions. I thought that meant opinions on whether there should be butter cream or fondant icing on the cake, not opinions on the very personal decisions my fiancé and I make.
Last weekend at a BBQ the inevitable conversation about our upcoming nuptials came up. When someone asked what my fiancé’s surname was and continued to match it to my name, I politely informed them I would not be changing it. I was not prepared for the reaction! One man said, and I quote ‘what the hell’s the point of getting married then?’ An older couple under their breath in a mix of disgust, confusion and a little terror asked ‘What will you name the children?’ I understood that people had these opinions, but choked a little on my sausage sandwich after they voiced them … to my face!
The truth is I’ve never given changing my name one thought. I will always remain the name I was born with; that’s who I am. My mum didn’t change her name and now I wish she kind of did so people can’t just pin my decision on following my mum’s behaviour. I have some pretty strong thoughts on the topic and am surprised by the number of strong, independent women who still do change their names. Don’t they understand what it’s all about? I don’t really fancy being ‘owned’ by my husband and to tell you the truth he probably wouldn’t want to own me anyway. My thoughts are my thoughts though and I wouldn’t voice them to any newly engaged couple criticising their personal decisions.