They say "it's never too late to get your body back". But what if you never had a 'body' in the first place?

A woman in Melbourne has taken the phrase absolutely fabulous to the next level, earning herself some impressive abs, the good old fashion way: healthy eating and exercise.

This revolution of ‘flab to fab’ happens all over the world every day, so why did this story make my newsfeed?

Because the woman is forty-plus years old, and a mother-of-two. And so this monumental achievement is newsworthy, apparently. Not because she slogged her guts out and made a huge effort to watch what she eats, not because she had been depressed and now feels amazing, but because she’s living and breathing proof that:

“It’s never too late to get your body back….at the age of 42.”

Did you hear that?! Despite age, gravity, and motherhood sucking your spirits whilst inflating your waistline, all hope is not lost.

Whilst it seems like this is good news, don’t rejoice just yet: I’m here to kill your buzz.

Because,  you guys, that sentence kinda sucks.

It’s full of shame. It’s problematic because what if you never had a ‘body’ in the first place?

What if, even before children, even in your youth, you never looked ripped and fit?

And even worse; what if you haven’t even had children and are young and your body is an unspoilt terrain, and yet you still are the owner of a merely average body?

What is your excuse then? Huh?

Don’t get me wrong, the story is a great, inspiring piece, and I wish the woman all the best – sincerely. She feels amazing. Good on her.

But I can’t help but feel for the other chicks out there whose normal, typical, average – whatever you want to call them – bodies aren’t garnering national media attention.

What about those lovely women? How do they feel about that sentence?

The women who are or aren’t exercising, who are or aren’t paying the closest of attention to their diets – the women who aren’t ’40 and fabulous’ – who don’t look like this ideal that society aspires to, my I please ask:

What the fuck are they supposed to do with their bodies, then?

What if they are never, ever able to take sexy back?

Is anyone going to write them a headline: “WOMAN  STILL HAS THE SAME BODY AS SHE DID AT TWENTY BECAUSE SHE WASN’T EVEN HOT BACK THEN”?

Chelsea Bonner Thinks You Have A Great Body. Post continues after…

It’s a conundrum, but I have a solution. The women who don’t have a body to get back to; we can applaud the women who do, and still be ok with what nature gave us.

We can do both. It doesn’t have to be either/or.

If you are a woman who has a body shape or fitness level that you’d like to get back to, that’s understandable.

If you are a woman who’d like a new body shape and want to work towards that, that’s also understandable.

If you achieve those things and are as a consequence the healthiest and most comfortable with your body you’ve ever been, that is amazing, and we all applaud you for that. WELL DONE, MATE.

And whilst I agree with the way this mum’s story was reported to the extent that it’s never too late for anything, we should probably question why her age was specifically mentioned, as if anyone over forty is past redemption, and any hope of attractiveness.

Because, if we don’t question that, we’ll keep being told that it’s not too late for us to be hot if we cared enough about ourselves.