'I'm Gen Z and I've never understood corporate emails. Here are 9 reasons why.'

I've been working in the corporate world for almost five years now and there's really only one thing I want to discuss.

Emails. Specifically, professional emails sent between the hours of 9am to 5pm (or 2am, if you love to stay up past your 'bed time' like me).

Here are all the things I have an issue with when it comes to emailing. 

Before we dive in, watch this: Work emails, translated. Story continues after video. 

1. I'm never being sincere when I say "sincerely". 

Why must I tell you that I am sending you an email - which I am required to send, mind you - with all the sincerity I can muster? 

I'm giving you my $40 invoice so I can afford to buy groceries next week, not my firstborn. 

2. Why can't I just copy and paste my original email if no one replies?

I spend way too much of my life typing out emails no one reads. 

So if you don't reply with a "thanks, mate", then I should be entitled to CTRL+C and CTRL+V that email allll over again. You're not going to ignore me, buddy. Not today.

If you disagree, take it up with HR. 

3. But also, am I a b*tch if I don't reply???

For example, spam emails are very well-meaning I'm sure, but I'm so tired of thanking Pretty Little Thing every time they tell me there's a discount on clothes that don't even fit me.

4. The amount of spam I get should be illegal.

Hundreds of emails every single week. 

All of them tell me my work's Facebook account has been hacked and META is "shutting" it down for the foreseeable future. Or that a woman named Susan wants to give me all her lottery winnings. Or that a beautiful girl is right around the corner from me and demands I click a link to meet her.

Scammers, be better. But also don't because my biggest fear is that one day I might fall for one.

5. The only inappropriate type of email is HATE MAIL.

I will never not read your email. Whilst I am okay(ish) at responding, I will always at least give you the respect of opening your long message and skimming through its contents. 

Including, regrettably, hate mail. I don't know why it exists, but to anyone thinking about typing me a strongly worded letter about a spelling error I made in 2018, please don't.

And while we're here, stop telling me I suck. I'm much more sensitive than I let on. 

6. Let me swear. Pls. (Not really... but also, pls.)

Sometimes, even on my best days, the only reply I feel even slightly inclined to type out has a slew of F-Bombs.

I'm mostly kidding. But I'm really not. Because my greatest friendships have been forged with the help of explicit language. It's the best way to get my attention, actually. 

Pls email me anything with an F-Bomb in the subject line, if you're reading this BTW. It will make me, a petulant Gen Z, really, really happy.

7. No, I do not delete an email once I've read it. 

How do people do this? How do you find your emails once they're gone from your inbox? What is an archive? Why can't I see it? Why am I so bad at life? 

8. Stop CC'ing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really don't want to know.

Listen to this episode of Mamamia Out Loud on Gen Z being the most environmentally conscious generation. Story continues after audio. 

9. It will never be improper to let me know about work discounts or anything relating to my finances, though.

So... CC me if you must. 

10. Emailing is an acceptable form of communication, I suppose.

I know, I know. I am such a whinger. But I do really understand the point of emails if I think really hard enough about it. There are worse things too, I suppose. Like global warming. And getting weird texts from fast fashion brands telling me I'm a baddie. 

So, in conclusion: I still don't get many things about emailing - especially in the corporate world - but I do, in hindsight, feel that perhaps, I'm not as bothered by them as I was when I first started writing this story. 

And that's a win, if you ask me. 

Feature Image: Gmail/Mamamia.