'My psychologist husband convinced me I was mentally ill. Then I had a conversation with a stranger.'

As told to Ann DeGrey.

When I became a mum for the first time, I knew my life would change. What I didn't expect was that my partner, a man I loved and trusted, would use that change to make me question my mental health.

Aaron* and I were together for five years before we had our daughter. He's a psychologist, and the sort of person everyone loves to listen to. He comes across as so calm and thoughtful. It was very easy falling in love with him.

When we found out I was pregnant, we were both over the moon. It hadn't been easy getting there, as we had tried for two years, gone through fertility treatment, tests and a lot of heart break. So when it finally happened, we felt incredibly lucky.

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Our baby girl Ruby* was born healthy, which was all I cared about. She is the most gorgeous girl, and I love being her mum. But it was pretty difficult in the beginning as she was a terrible sleeper.

It felt like I was breastfeeding around the clock and Aaron went back to work after just one week, so most nights it was just me, pacing around the house in the dark. I have no family in Melbourne so I didn't have a support system at all.

So I was very emotional and I had plenty of mood swings. I'd cry one minute and laugh the next. Some mornings I felt pumped with energy, but on other days I could barely get out of bed. But I still felt bonded to Ruby, I never felt like something was "wrong" with me. I was just overwhelmed and super tired all the time. Like most new mums.

That's when Aaron started dropping hints. Little comments like, "You know, this isn't normal mood fluctuation," or "You're not just tired, this is something else." I thought he was just concerned. But then he started using a word that caught me completely off guard: bipolar.

The first time he said it, I thought it was funny. "Me? Bipolar? Are you serious?" But he was dead serious and started talking to me with his psychologist hat on.

He told me he has seen it all before. "The highs, the lows , your bipolar is very textbook," he said. He told me he knew the signs better than anyone, and that I should take his professional opinion seriously. He wanted me on medication ASAP.

At first, I felt really hurt. Then I was scared because I trusted him; not just as my partner but as someone trained to recognise mental illness. If he saw something in me, was I supposed to ignore it? I started watching myself more closely, worried every time I raised my voice or laughed too hard that it was some kind of symptom.

So while he urged me to go on medication, I told him I wanted to see a professional who wasn't in a relationship with me. He didn't exactly stop me, but he wasn't encouraging either.

He said I shouldn't go to "just anyone" and said some doctors will just brush it off. But he was adamant that I needed meds. I was so worried about myself, so I booked an appointment with a clinical psychologist. I was nervous going in, afraid she'd confirm everything he'd been saying.

But that's not what she said at all. After a full assessment, the psychologist told me I didn't have bipolar disorder. Not even close. What I was experiencing was mild anxiety, mostly brought on by sleep deprivation and the huge transition into parenthood.

She said my reactions were completely normal for someone in my position. We talked about ways to cope, and I started on a low-dose medication to help me through the worst of it.

Within a few weeks, I felt calmer and more like myself. But the relief I felt was mixed with feeling upset about Aaron. I couldn't shake the feeling that he had used his professional authority to control the situation. So, instead of supporting me, he had labelled me. It was almost like he wanted me to have bipolar, so he could feel in control.

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Now I realise that it might have been a bit about him. He had found the newborn stage incredibly hard and he didn't bond with our daughter the way I did. I think he felt out of place and instead of dealing with that, he focused on me as the problem. I don't think he was being entirely malicious. But it wasn't okay either.

We're still together and we've been going to therapy; mostly for me as I try to rebuild trust. But something really changed in the way I see him now and I can understand how easy it is for someone to be convinced they have a particular mental health problem, when it is really something else. The experience has been a huge eyeopener for me, but I'm very hopeful, for our daughter's sake, that our relationship survives.

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.

If you or anyone you know needs to speak with an expert, please contact your GP or in Australia, contact Lifeline (13 11 14), Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636), all of which provide trained counsellors you can talk with 24/7.

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